Prompt: Write a formal recommendation to the principal about extending recess. Student draft (110 words): To support student well-being and learning, our school should extend recess by ten minutes. Research shows that regular physical activity improves attention, reduces stress, and builds social skills. After lunch, many students return to class feeling restless; a longer break would allow them to reset and come back ready to focus on instruction. Teachers might also observe fewer disruptions, creating a calmer classroom environment. The additional time could be used for walking, open play, or structured games supervised by staff. This change would promote equity by giving all students, not just athletes, a daily opportunity to move. With careful scheduling, academics would not be compromised and overall performance could improve.

Which revision best improves tone for a formal school assignment? Replace the informal idea "This change would be super awesome for kids."

Prompt: Write a formal reflection on your class field trip. Student draft (104 words): On Friday's field trip to the city water treatment plant, I observed each phase of purification, from screening to disinfection. The visit connected directly to our unit on human impact and public health. I noticed how gauges and sensors monitor flow rates and chemical levels to keep water safe. The guide explained how community demand changes by season, which affects storage and energy use. Seeing the process in person clarified how infrastructure protects people every day. I also realized why conservation matters: every gallon we save reduces strain on the system. The experience made me more curious about engineering careers that solve practical problems.

Which revision best improves tone for a formal school assignment? Replace the informal idea about the guide and odor.

Prompt: Write a formal literary analysis paragraph about a short story's theme. Student draft (101 words): Perseverance drives the plot of the short story I read this week. The protagonist fails the first two times she attempts the climbing route, yet she studies the wall, adjusts her plan, and keeps trying. Dialogue shows her frustration but also her growth as she listens to her coach's feedback. Sensory details—chalk dust, trembling arms, and the rough texture of holds—make the challenge vivid. The turning point occurs when she chooses a slower, more strategic path instead of rushing. By the end, success feels earned, not lucky, because persistence and reflection lead to improvement. The story's theme encourages patience and resilience.

Which revision best improves tone for a formal school assignment? Replace the informal sentence about the character succeeding.

Prompt: Write a formal request to the school librarian about diversifying the collection. Student draft (103 words): Dear Librarian, I am writing to recommend updates to our school library collection that would support inclusive reading choices. In class and at home, my peers and I look for stories that reflect a range of cultures, languages, and lived experiences. Adding contemporary novels, graphic narratives, poetry, and nonfiction by authors from different backgrounds would help more students see themselves as readers. These titles could also expand our understanding of communities beyond our own. I would be happy to help compile suggestions from classmates and organize a student survey. Thank you for considering this recommendation and for all you do for our library.

Which revision best improves tone for a formal school assignment? Replace the informal request about adding books.

Recycling at our school could make a measurable difference for the environment and for our campus culture. Right now, many bottles and papers end up in the trash, which wastes resources and creates clutter in hallways and common areas. A coordinated program with clearly labeled bins, student volunteers, and announcements during homeroom would help everyone understand what belongs where. If we track results each week, we can celebrate improvements and adjust our plan. Also, trash is gross and it totally ruins the vibe, especially after lunch. By working together, we would reduce waste, keep spaces cleaner, and show younger students that responsible habits are part of who we are.

Original sentence: "Also, trash is gross and it totally ruins the vibe, especially after lunch." Which revision best improves tone for a formal school assignment?

Homework should support learning without overwhelming students. When assignments pile up from multiple classes, it becomes difficult to manage time and complete quality work. The current homework plan is kinda confusing, and it stresses people out, which is not cool. A clearer schedule—such as consistent due dates and estimated completion times—would help students plan ahead and ask questions before work is due. Teachers could post weekly overviews so we can balance long-term projects with nightly practice. With more coordination, students would arrive prepared, participate thoughtfully, and still have time to rest, read, or help at home. This approach respects learning and student well-being.

Original sentence: "The current homework plan is kinda confusing, and it stresses people out, which is not cool." Which revision best improves tone for a formal school assignment?

Our library is a hub for curiosity, collaboration, and quiet study. Students use it to research, choose independent reading, and meet with partners on projects. The library is awesome, but sometimes it's super loud and people can't focus. Simple changes could improve the space without losing its welcoming feel. For example, signs could mark silent areas, and soft dividers could separate group tables from study carrels. Student volunteers might greet classes and remind visitors about expectations. With a few updates, the library would support different needs at the same time, so readers can concentrate while groups discuss ideas and share their work.

Original sentence: "The library is awesome, but sometimes it's super loud and people can't focus." Which revision best improves tone for a formal school assignment?

A field trip to the science museum would connect our lessons to real-world discoveries. Exhibits show how concepts like energy transfer and ecosystems function beyond our textbook. If we go, it would be super cool and we'd learn a ton of stuff. Hands-on stations let students test variables, observe results, and ask questions. With a guided lab, we could collect data, compare observations, and reflect on how scientists design experiments. The cost could be reduced through fundraisers, and we would follow safety guidelines and chaperone ratios. This experience would build curiosity, strengthen understanding, and inspire students to explore STEM careers.

Original sentence: "If we go, it would be super cool and we'd learn a ton of stuff." Which revision best improves tone for a formal school assignment?