Composition: Composing Literary Texts Including Personal Narratives Fiction And Poetry (TEKS.ELA.6.11.A)
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Texas 6th Grade ELA › Composition: Composing Literary Texts Including Personal Narratives Fiction And Poetry (TEKS.ELA.6.11.A)
I clutched my schedule as I walked into the noisy hallway. Lockers slammed like brief thunder, and I wished I could shrink into my backpack. My homeroom number was written in smudged pencil, and the arrows on the wall didn't seem to point anywhere. A tall student brushed past and muttered sorry; I nodded without speaking. When the bell rang, the hallway emptied fast. I stood alone, unsure which door to choose. A map was taped near the office, but the ink had bled and the corners curled. I took a breath and picked a direction, hoping it would lead to a beginning.
Which revision best strengthens this literary text?
Add a general statement that the school was big and confusing.
Remove the sentence about the map to make the paragraph shorter.
Insert a vivid sensory detail: describe the hallway smell, the flicker of lights, and the cold metal of the lockers as the narrator hesitates.
Add another sentence repeating that the narrator felt nervous.
Explanation
Choice C adds concrete sensory imagery that deepens mood and setting, making the narrator's experience more vivid. Extension: Revise this draft by adding imagery, figurative language, or brief dialogue. Scaffold: Use the frame, "The sky looked like ___." Enrichment: Compare this draft to a mentor text excerpt and identify the author's craft moves you can try.
The road curled along the marsh, and my bike tires whispered over the gravel. I pedaled harder, chasing the last patch of sunlight sliding toward the horizon. Dad had said to be home by dinner, but the wind tugged at my jacket like a friend who didn't want me to leave. A heron lifted from the reeds, its wings slow and sure. The air changed, cool and damp, and a shiver ran down my arms. Dark clouds gathered in a straight line, as if someone had drawn them with a ruler. I knew I should turn back. Still, the open road seemed to lean forward, inviting me on.
Which revision best strengthens this literary text?
Add a line of dialogue where the narrator calls Dad to ask for five more minutes and hears the wind roar through the phone.
Replace the heron image with "a bird flew."
Add a sentence saying the road was cool.
Repeat "I pedaled harder" two more times to show urgency.
Explanation
Choice A adds purposeful dialogue and a sensory detail (wind roar) that builds tension and character motivation. Extension: Revise this draft by adding imagery, figurative language, or dialogue. Scaffold: Use the frame, "The sky looked like ___." Enrichment: Compare this draft to a mentor text excerpt and identify craft moves to emulate.
Grandma slid the mixing bowl toward me and tapped the wooden spoon twice. Flour clouded the air and drifted onto the table like pale snow. I cracked an egg and missed, and yolk slithered down the counter. Grandma laughed softly and handed me a towel. The recipe card was propped beside the stove, corners stained from years of use. I read the next line out loud but stumbled on her cursive. The oven ticked as it warmed. Somewhere outside, a dog barked and then another answered. We measured sugar, then waited for the butter to melt. Time slowed, and the kitchen felt smaller, as if we were inside a secret.
Which revision best strengthens this literary text?
Delete the sentence about the recipe card to make the paragraph shorter.
Add a vague sentence that says, "We cooked stuff, and it was fine."
Insert an unrelated fact about the history of ovens.
Add a short dialogue exchange where Grandma explains why the recipe matters and the narrator reacts.
Explanation
Choice D adds meaningful dialogue that reveals character relationship and purpose, enriching the scene. Extension: Revise by adding imagery, figurative language, or dialogue. Scaffold: Use the frame, "The sky looked like ___." Enrichment: Compare this draft to a mentor text excerpt and identify the craft moves at work.
The gym smelled faintly of rubber and cleaner as I stepped onto the court for tryouts. Sneakers squeaked, and a whistle blew somewhere behind me. Coach Rivera's clipboard clicked as he flipped pages. I spun the ball once and tried to steady my breathing. Layup lines formed, and the taller players went first. When it was my turn, the ball felt heavier than usual. My first shot kissed the backboard and rolled off. A few kids clapped anyway, the polite kind. I told myself to shake it off, but my palms stayed damp. The whistle blew again, and we ran to the baseline for sprints.
Which revision best strengthens this literary text?
Repeat "I was nervous" to emphasize the narrator's feelings.
Add an opening line stating the narrator's specific goal for tryouts and a closing sentence that hints whether they reached it, framing the scene.
Replace "kissed the backboard" with "hit the thing."
Insert an unrelated fact about famous basketball teams.
Explanation
Choice B improves structure by giving the scene a clear focus and frame, enhancing cohesion and purpose. Extension: Revise by adding imagery, figurative language, or dialogue. Scaffold: Use the frame, "The sky looked like ___." Enrichment: Compare this draft to a mentor text excerpt and identify the craft moves used.