Composition: Editing Drafts For Punctuation In Complex Sentences And Introductory Elements (TEKS.ELA.6.10.D.viii)
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Texas 6th Grade ELA › Composition: Editing Drafts For Punctuation In Complex Sentences And Introductory Elements (TEKS.ELA.6.10.D.viii)
Yesterday during science club we built a small wind turbine. It looked simple, but balancing the blades was tricky however we kept trying. In the morning we had sketched the plan on graph paper and labeled the parts then we gathered cardboard tape and a dowel. After we tested the design we recorded the rotations per minute and compared trials. Because the glue dried slowly we waited and talked about improvements for example shorter blades might spin faster. At last the turbine turned smoothly, we cheered and cleaned the tables before the bell rang on our way out of class.
Which revision corrects the punctuation?
Yesterday, during science club we built a small wind turbine. It looked simple, but balancing the blades was tricky, however we kept trying. In the morning we had sketched the plan on graph paper and labeled the parts; then we gathered cardboard, tape and a dowel. After we tested the design we recorded the rotations per minute and compared trials. Because the glue dried slowly we waited and talked about improvements, for example shorter blades might spin faster. At last, the turbine turned smoothly, we cheered, and cleaned the tables before the bell rang on our way out of class.
Yesterday, during science club, we built a small wind turbine. It looked simple, but balancing the blades was tricky; however, we kept trying. In the morning, we had sketched the plan on graph paper and labeled the parts; then, we gathered cardboard, tape, and a dowel. After we tested the design, we recorded the rotations per minute and compared trials. Because the glue dried slowly, we waited and talked about improvements; for example, shorter blades might spin faster. At last, the turbine turned smoothly; we cheered and cleaned the tables before the bell rang on our way out of class.
Yesterday, during science club, we built a small wind turbine. It looked simple, but, balancing the blades was tricky, however, we kept trying. In the morning, we had sketched the plan on graph paper, and labeled the parts; then, we gathered, cardboard, tape, and, a dowel. After, we tested the design, we recorded the rotations per minute, and compared trials. Because, the glue dried slowly, we waited, and talked about improvements, for example, shorter blades might spin faster. At last, the turbine turned smoothly, we cheered, and cleaned the tables, before the bell rang, on our way out of class.
Yesterday during science club, we built a small wind turbine. It looked simple but balancing the blades was tricky; however we kept trying. In the morning we had sketched the plan on graph paper and labeled the parts, then we gathered cardboard, tape and a dowel. After we tested the design we recorded the rotations per minute and compared trials. Because the glue dried slowly we waited and talked about improvements; for example shorter blades might spin faster. At last the turbine turned smoothly; we cheered and cleaned the tables before the bell rang on our way out of class.
Explanation
B is correct because it adds commas after introductory elements (Yesterday, In the morning, After we tested, Because the glue dried slowly) and sets off transitions (however, for example) with commas. It also uses a semicolon before however and to separate closely related independent clauses, and it adds a serial comma in the list (cardboard, tape, and a dowel). A misuses a comma before however and omits key introductory commas. C adds unnecessary and incorrect commas (e.g., Because, the glue). D omits commas after several introductory elements and after for example. Extension: Insert commas in these: 1) After the storm passed we checked the windows 2) For example the trail map shows three routes 3) Because the gate was locked we waited by the office. Scaffold (checklist): Comma after an introductory word/phrase/clause; commas around interrupters (however, for example); comma before a coordinating conjunction joining two independent clauses; commas in items in a series. Enrichment: Choose a mentor paragraph from a nonfiction article; annotate how commas around transitions and introductory elements guide pacing and emphasis; discuss how changing punctuation would change tone.
After the final bell we rushed to the bus however it was late. We stood in a loose line trying to stay patient and in addition we had heavy backpacks. When the driver arrived we climbed aboard found seats and took a breath. To our relief the air conditioner worked well, and the windows rattled quietly as we pulled away. At the next stop a student dropped a binder papers fluttered everywhere but no one complained. Instead we passed the sheets forward and soon the binder was full again and the bus rolled toward home through warm bright afternoon traffic.
Which revision corrects the punctuation?
After the final bell we rushed to the bus, however, it was late. We stood in a loose line trying to stay patient and in addition we had heavy backpacks. When the driver arrived we climbed aboard, found seats and took a breath. To our relief the air conditioner worked well, and the windows rattled quietly as we pulled away. At the next stop a student dropped a binder, papers fluttered everywhere but no one complained. Instead we passed the sheets forward and soon the binder was full again and the bus rolled toward home through warm bright afternoon traffic.
After, the final bell, we rushed to the bus; however it was late. We stood in a loose line, trying to stay patient and, in addition we had heavy backpacks. When the driver arrived, we climbed aboard found seats, and took a breath. To our relief, the air conditioner worked well and the windows rattled quietly, as we pulled away. At the next stop, a student dropped a binder; papers fluttered everywhere, but no one complained. Instead, we passed the sheets forward and soon the binder was full again, and the bus rolled toward home through warm, bright, afternoon traffic.
After the final bell, we rushed to the bus; however it was late. We stood in a loose line, trying to stay patient and in addition we had heavy backpacks. When the driver arrived, we climbed aboard, found seats and took a breath. To our relief the air conditioner worked well and the windows rattled quietly as we pulled away. At the next stop, a student dropped a binder; papers fluttered everywhere but no one complained. Instead, we passed the sheets forward, and soon the binder was full again and the bus rolled toward home through warm bright afternoon traffic.
After the final bell, we rushed to the bus; however, it was late. We stood in a loose line, trying to stay patient, and, in addition, we had heavy backpacks. When the driver arrived, we climbed aboard, found seats, and took a breath. To our relief, the air conditioner worked well, and the windows rattled quietly as we pulled away. At the next stop, a student dropped a binder; papers fluttered everywhere, but no one complained. Instead, we passed the sheets forward, and soon the binder was full again, and the bus rolled toward home through warm, bright afternoon traffic.
Explanation
D is correct: comma after introductory clauses/phrases (After the final bell, When the driver arrived, To our relief, At the next stop, Instead,), commas to set off transitions (however, in addition), a serial comma in a list (climbed aboard, found seats, and took), and a semicolon to join related independent clauses (binder; papers fluttered). A uses a comma before however instead of a semicolon/period and lacks several introductory commas. B misplaces commas (After, the final bell,) and adds unnecessary ones. C omits commas with transitions (however, in addition) and in the series; it also drops some needed introductory commas. Extension: Add punctuation: 1) Next we will present our slides however we need the projector 2) When the gates opened fans poured in cheered and waved 3) To our surprise the smallest puppy won. Scaffold (checklist): After an introductory element, add a comma; set off interrupters like however/in addition; use a semicolon or period before however between sentences; include serial commas; avoid random commas splitting subjects from verbs. Enrichment: Examine a news article's lead; identify how commas after introductory phrases control pacing and how semicolons handle closely related ideas.
On Saturday afternoon we hiked to the ridge and although the trail was steep we kept going. At the overlook we paused to drink water adjust our packs and enjoy the view. For example we tried to spot birds across the valley but the clouds made shadows that fooled us. When the wind shifted a hawk appeared and glided, over our heads then vanished. Tired but excited we started back down and in switchbacks we moved slowly. By the time we reached the car the sun had dipped behind the trees however our smiles stayed bright all the way home.
Which revision corrects the punctuation?
On Saturday afternoon, we hiked to the ridge, and although the trail was steep, we kept going. At the overlook, we paused to drink water, adjust our packs, and enjoy the view. For example, we tried to spot birds across the valley, but the clouds made shadows that fooled us. When the wind shifted, a hawk appeared and glided over our heads, then vanished. Tired but excited, we started back down, and, in switchbacks, we moved slowly. By the time we reached the car, the sun had dipped behind the trees; however, our smiles stayed bright all the way home.
On Saturday afternoon we hiked to the ridge and, although the trail was steep we kept going. At the overlook we paused to drink water, adjust our packs and enjoy the view. For example we tried to spot birds across the valley, but the clouds made shadows that fooled us. When the wind shifted, a hawk appeared and glided over our heads then vanished. Tired but excited we started back down and in switchbacks, we moved slowly. By the time we reached the car the sun had dipped behind the trees, however, our smiles stayed bright all the way home.
On Saturday afternoon, we hiked to the ridge and although the trail was steep we kept going. At the overlook, we paused to drink water adjust our packs, and enjoy the view. For example we tried to spot birds across the valley but the clouds made shadows that fooled us. When the wind shifted a hawk appeared and glided, over our heads, then vanished. Tired but excited, we started back down and in switchbacks we moved slowly. By the time we reached the car, the sun had dipped behind the trees however our smiles stayed bright all the way home.
On Saturday afternoon we hiked to the ridge, and although the trail was steep we kept going. At the overlook we paused to drink water, adjust our packs, and enjoy the view. For example, we tried to spot birds across the valley but the clouds made shadows that fooled us. When the wind shifted a hawk appeared and glided over our heads, then vanished. Tired but excited we started back down, and, in switchbacks, we moved slowly. By the time we reached the car the sun had dipped behind the trees; however our smiles stayed bright all the way home.
Explanation
A is correct: it adds commas after introductory elements (On Saturday afternoon, At the overlook, For example, When the wind shifted, By the time we reached the car,) sets off the interrupter clause with although, uses serial commas, and places a semicolon before however to join related independent clauses. B, C, and D each omit or misplace key commas (e.g., missing comma after For example; comma splices with however; stray commas around over our heads or switchbacks). Extension: Add commas as needed: 1) For instance we packed snacks water and sunscreen 2) When the clouds cleared we saw the lake 3) After a long hike we rested by the trail sign. Scaffold (checklist): Comma after introductory phrase/clause; commas in a series; commas around interrupters; semicolon or period before however between sentences. Enrichment: Compare two nature paragraphs; discuss how commas around transitions slow or speed the reading and guide emphasis.
Before starting the recipe we gathered ingredients meanwhile the oven preheated silently. In the big bowl we mixed flour sugar and salt then we whisked in milk. Because the batter looked lumpy we let it rest for ten minutes and after that we stirred again. Next we poured thin circles onto the pan however the first one stuck. To fix it we added a drop of oil and turned the heat down a little. In conclusion we enjoyed the meal together and most importantly everyone helped clean up even the person who usually disappears when dishes are needed at home.
Which revision corrects the punctuation?
Before starting the recipe we gathered ingredients, meanwhile the oven preheated silently. In the big bowl we mixed flour, sugar and salt, then we whisked in milk. Because the batter looked lumpy, we let it rest for ten minutes, and after that we stirred again. Next we poured thin circles onto the pan, however, the first one stuck. To fix it we added a drop of oil, and turned the heat down a little. In conclusion we enjoyed the meal together and, most importantly everyone helped clean up even the person who usually disappears when dishes are needed at home.
Before starting the recipe, we gathered ingredients; meanwhile the oven preheated silently. In the big bowl, we mixed flour sugar and salt; then, we whisked in milk. Because the batter looked lumpy we let it rest for ten minutes, and after that, we stirred again. Next, we poured thin circles onto the pan; however the first one stuck. To fix it, we added a drop of oil and turned the heat down a little. In conclusion, we enjoyed the meal together and most importantly, everyone helped clean up, even the person who usually disappears when dishes are needed at home.
Before starting the recipe, we gathered ingredients; meanwhile, the oven preheated silently. In the big bowl, we mixed flour, sugar, and salt; then, we whisked in milk. Because the batter looked lumpy, we let it rest for ten minutes, and after that, we stirred again. Next, we poured thin circles onto the pan; however, the first one stuck. To fix it, we added a drop of oil and turned the heat down a little. In conclusion, we enjoyed the meal together, and, most importantly, everyone helped clean up, even the person who usually disappears when dishes are needed at home.
Before, starting the recipe, we gathered ingredients; meanwhile, the oven preheated silently. In the big bowl we mixed flour, sugar, and salt; then we whisked in milk. Because, the batter looked lumpy, we let it rest for ten minutes and, after that, we stirred again. Next we poured thin circles onto the pan; however, the first one stuck. To fix it, we added a drop of oil and turned the heat down, a little. In conclusion, we enjoyed the meal together, and most importantly everyone helped clean up even the person who usually disappears when dishes are needed at home.
Explanation
C is correct: it adds commas after introductory elements (Before starting the recipe, In the big bowl, Because the batter looked lumpy, Next, In conclusion,) sets off transitions (meanwhile, however, most importantly) with commas, uses a serial comma (flour, sugar, and salt), and uses a semicolon to join closely related independent clauses. A and D insert unnecessary commas (Before, starting; Because,) or misuse commas in compound predicates. B misses some needed commas with transitions (meanwhile, however) and omits serial commas. Extension: Punctuate these: 1) First we chopped carrots onions and celery 2) Because the timer beeped we checked the cookies 3) Finally we set the table and everyone sat down. Scaffold (checklist): Comma after openings (First, Next, In conclusion,); set off interrupters like however/meanwhile; serial commas; avoid commas splitting a subject from its verb. Enrichment: Study a cookbook paragraph; analyze how commas after transitions create clear step-by-step pacing and where semicolons connect tightly linked steps.
After the bell rang we hurried to the school gym to set up our science fair display however our poster kept curling at the edges. Because the tape was old it didn't stick and my partner tried pressing harder but that only wrinkled the paper. Meanwhile a judge strolled past taking careful notes though I wasn't ready to explain our project. In the rush I forgot the model at my locker and as a result our table looked empty. When I finally returned with it the judge was gone so we waited very nervously hoping she would circle back soon.
Which revision of the first sentence corrects the punctuation?
After the bell rang we hurried to the school gym to set up our science fair display, however our poster kept curling at the edges.
After the bell rang, we hurried to the school gym to set up our science fair display. However, our poster kept curling at the edges.
After the bell rang we hurried to the school gym to set up our science fair display however, our poster kept curling at the edges.
After the bell rang we hurried to the school gym, to set up our science fair display, however our poster kept curling at the edges.
Explanation
Correct: After the bell rang, we hurried to the school gym to set up our science fair display. However, our poster kept curling at the edges. Rule: Use a comma after an introductory clause and punctuate a transitional adverb between independent clauses with a period (or semicolon) before and a comma after. A/C/D create comma splices or add unnecessary commas. Extension (insert commas):
- When the movie ended we clapped.
- However we missed the bus.
- After finishing my homework I practiced piano. Scaffold (checklist):
- Comma after introductory words/phrases (After, When, In the rush)
- Comma after transitions (However, Therefore, Meanwhile)
- Comma after a fronted dependent clause
- Comma before and joining two independent clauses Enrichment: Read a short article and analyze how commas after transitions affect tone and flow.
Before we left for the field trip the chaperones reviewed the rules, meanwhile several students searched for their permission slips. Because the bus was early many of us rushed to our seats and backpacks slid down the aisle. However the driver waited very patiently until the teacher finished attendance. As we pulled away from school the bright sun broke through the clouds and everyone cheered softly. After the museum doors opened we stepped inside and paused at a giant fossil which towered above us like a tree. In that moment I forgot my worries and simply enjoyed being there quietly.
Which revision of the second sentence corrects the punctuation?
Because the bus was early many of us rushed to our seats and, backpacks slid down the aisle.
Because the bus was early many of us rushed to our seats and backpacks slid down the aisle.
Because the bus was early, many of us rushed to our seats and backpacks slid down the aisle.
Because the bus was early, many of us rushed to our seats, and backpacks slid down the aisle.
Explanation
Correct: Because the bus was early, many of us rushed to our seats, and backpacks slid down the aisle. Rule: Place a comma after an introductory dependent clause and a comma before and when it joins two independent clauses. A misplaces a comma; B/C omit needed commas. Extension (insert commas):
- Because it started raining we moved inside.
- Therefore we rescheduled the game.
- After the doors opened the crowd entered slowly. Scaffold (checklist):
- Introductory dependent clause, then comma
- Transitional word, then comma (However, Therefore, Meanwhile)
- Use a comma before and if both sides can stand alone Enrichment: Examine a mentor paragraph and discuss how commas guide pacing and emphasis.
During cooking club we planned to bake muffins but the oven was already in use so we changed our idea. Instead we mixed a quick fruit salad cutting strawberries and slicing bananas while someone peeled oranges. Because the knives were dull it took longer than we expected and the bell would ring soon. Therefore we divided the jobs more evenly and worked very quickly to finish on time. When the bowl was full we stirred carefully and gently however juice splashed onto the table. In the end everyone sampled the salad and we agreed to bring sharper tools next week.
Which revision of the sentence beginning with "When the bowl was full" corrects the punctuation?
When the bowl was full, we stirred carefully and gently. However, juice splashed onto the table.
When the bowl was full we stirred carefully and gently, however, juice splashed onto the table.
When the bowl was full, we stirred carefully, and gently however juice splashed onto the table.
When the bowl was full we stirred carefully and gently. However, juice splashed onto the table.
Explanation
Correct: When the bowl was full, we stirred carefully and gently. However, juice splashed onto the table. Rule: Use a comma after an introductory clause and punctuate a transitional adverb between independent clauses with a period (or semicolon) before and a comma after. B is a comma splice; C adds an unnecessary comma and omits the comma after however; D omits the introductory comma. Extension (insert commas):
- When the timer beeped we took out the pan.
- Instead we served fruit first.
- Because supplies ran low we shared materials. Scaffold (checklist):
- Comma after introductory clauses/phrases
- Comma after transitions (However, Instead, Therefore)
- Avoid comma splices; use a period or semicolon before transitions Enrichment: Study a recipe intro and note how commas signal steps and timing.
Although the new schedule shortens lunch many students appreciate the extra time in the morning, nevertheless some worry about crowded hallways. To adjust teachers suggested walking in one direction around the main loop and reminding classmates to keep moving. However several stairways still clog between classes and we sometimes arrive late. When announcements run long the first period starts hurriedly and assignments pile up quickly. As a result we plan to meet with the principal to share ideas for smoother transitions and ask for feedback. In the meantime we will try small changes like packing faster before the bell together.
Which revision of the first sentence corrects the punctuation?
Although the new schedule shortens lunch many students appreciate the extra time in the morning, nevertheless some worry about crowded hallways.
Although the new schedule shortens lunch many students appreciate the extra time in the morning; nevertheless some worry about crowded hallways.
Although the new schedule shortens lunch, many students appreciate the extra time in the morning. Nevertheless, some worry about crowded hallways.
Although, the new schedule shortens lunch, many students appreciate the extra time in the morning, nevertheless, some worry about crowded hallways.
Explanation
Correct: Although the new schedule shortens lunch, many students appreciate the extra time in the morning. Nevertheless, some worry about crowded hallways. Rule: Put a comma after a fronted dependent clause. Punctuate a transition like Nevertheless with a period (or semicolon) before and a comma after. A/D create a comma splice; B omits needed commas after the dependent clause and after Nevertheless. Extension (insert commas):
- When the bell rings we head to class.
- Nevertheless we still greet our friends.
- As a result we walk with purpose. Scaffold (checklist):
- Comma after introductory dependent clauses
- Comma after transitional adverbs (However, Nevertheless, Therefore)
- Separate independent clauses correctly (period/semicolon, not a comma) Enrichment: Find an editorial and analyze how commas after transitions shape emphasis and clarity.