Composition: Developing Drafts By Expanding Ideas With Facts And Details (TEKS.ELA.6.10.B.ii)
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Texas 6th Grade ELA › Composition: Developing Drafts By Expanding Ideas With Facts And Details (TEKS.ELA.6.10.B.ii)
Last month our cafeteria tried something new with the lunches. Students had mixed opinions, but many people noticed stuff was different. At first, some of us were unsure about it. The lines felt about the same, and the room still smelled like food. The changes made a big difference. Friends talked about it during homeroom, and teachers asked what we thought. I usually just want food that doesn't take long and tastes okay. There were posters, and someone made an announcement. People said it might help students have more energy. I think the idea could be good for the school, but I'm not totally sure yet.
Which revision of the sentence "The changes made a big difference." best develops the idea with details?
They added healthier stuff that was probably better for everyone.
The new menu swapped fries for roasted sweet potatoes, added a salad bar with spinach and cherry tomatoes, and offered grilled chicken instead of breaded patties.
Meanwhile, the gym got new equipment for P.E. class.
The changes changed things and made it different in many ways.
Explanation
Choice B adds concrete, specific details (sweet potatoes, salad bar items, grilled chicken) that clearly show how the menu changed. A is too general, D is vague and repetitive, and C is irrelevant. Extension: Expand "The changes made a big difference." into 2–3 detailed sentences describing exact foods and what students noticed. Scaffold sentence frames: One example is..., For instance..., Specifically..., This matters because.... Enrichment: Weak draft: The lunches were healthier and better. People liked them. Strong draft: The cafeteria replaced fries with roasted sweet potatoes, opened a salad bar with spinach and cherry tomatoes, and served grilled chicken. By Thursday, more students chose the salad bar than pizza, and teachers said afternoon classes felt more focused.
Our class went on a field trip to a big science museum. The building had a lot of rooms and things to look at. The bus ride was fine, and we ate lunch there. We saw cool things. The guides were friendly and told us to explore. I like science, so I paid attention to parts that seemed interesting. It made me think about how science is around us. Everyone had a favorite part, and people took pictures. Overall, the trip was good and gave us ideas to think about later. Some displays were confusing at first, but we kept moving and tried out what we could.
Which revision of the sentence "We saw cool things." best develops the idea with details?
There were many exhibits that were nice.
We saw things that we saw at the museum.
The snack bar had a long line at the football game.
We stood under a towering dinosaur skeleton, spun a tornado tube to watch a funnel form, and sat inside a mock space capsule to press its control buttons.
Explanation
Choice D provides vivid, specific examples of exhibits, developing the idea with clear details. A is too general, B is repetitive without adding information, and C is off-topic. Extension: Expand "We saw cool things." into 2–3 sentences naming exhibits and describing what you did with them. Scaffold frames: For instance..., One example is..., I noticed..., This was exciting because.... Enrichment: Weak draft: The museum had good exhibits. We liked them. Strong draft: Our class gathered under a giant dinosaur skeleton and studied its teeth. We spun a tornado tube until a spiraling funnel formed. In the space area, we climbed into a capsule model and pressed the unlabeled buttons to see the lights blink.
I decided to join the cross-country team this year. I had heard it would be challenging, and I wanted to try something new. The first practices were different from what I expected. Practice was hard. The team met after school, and the coach talked about goals. I tried to keep up and figure out how to improve. Some days the weather made it tougher, and other days felt fine. People cheered for each other, which helped. Still, I kept showing up and noticed small progress each week. I learned that getting better takes time and effort. Now I think running can teach you things you can use in life.
Which revision of the sentence "Practice was hard." best develops the idea with details?
We ran three loops around the park trail, attacked the steep hill by the creek without walking, and timed a final mile to beat last week's pace.
We did a lot of running and stuff like that.
In math class, we had a quiz on fractions that day.
Practice was hard and difficult and not easy.
Explanation
Choice A adds specific actions (loops, hill, timed mile) that show exactly how practice was hard. B is too general, C is irrelevant, and D is repetitive without details. Extension: Expand "Practice was hard." into 2–3 sentences describing distance, terrain, and timing. Scaffold frames: Specifically..., We had to..., One example is..., This challenged me because.... Enrichment: Weak draft: Running practice was tough. I got tired. Strong draft: Coach had us run three trail loops, sprint the hill by the creek, and finish with a timed mile. My legs burned on the second loop, and I missed my goal by ten seconds, but I cut five seconds the next day.
This summer our neighborhood library started a reading program. The goal was to get people excited about books and coming to the library. There were activities on different days, and the staff decorated the front area. People came to the events. I heard there would be prizes, but I mostly liked the idea of having something to do. The library felt welcoming, and it seemed like more families visited. The program lasted a while, and it probably helped. I think it's important because reading can help you in school and beyond. Some events were quieter than others, but people stayed engaged.
Which revision of the sentence "People came to the events." best develops the idea with details?
Many participants showed up and had fun at various times.
People came, and more people came later, and people kept coming.
On Tuesday afternoons, about thirty kids gathered for a craft-and-read circle, and on Saturday mornings, families filled the meeting room for a quiet hour with pillows and picture books.
Across the street, a new cafe opened with bright umbrellas.
Explanation
Choice C gives concrete times, groups, and activities that clarify who came and what happened. A is too general, B is repetitive, and D is irrelevant. Extension: Expand "People came to the events." into 2–3 sentences naming days, turnout, and activities. Scaffold frames: For example..., On _______, we..., About _____ people..., This helped because.... Enrichment: Weak draft: Lots of people went to the library events. They seemed fun. Strong draft: On Tuesdays, the children's area filled with about thirty kids making bookmarks before a read-aloud. On Saturdays, families brought blankets and listened quietly during a community story hour. The meeting room seats were taken by the first ten minutes.
Student Draft: Our class decided to start a garden behind the school. At first, we had an idea about growing things that would be useful. We talked to some people and got some stuff. On the first day, we went outside and did some work. Some groups did one thing while others did another. After a while, the garden started to look different. We noticed some changes that made us feel proud. The garden helped our school in more than one way, and people liked it. There were a few challenges, but we figured them out somehow. In the end, it was a good experience that taught us things.
Which revision best develops the idea with details?
The garden made things better for us and the school.
The garden was really cool and everyone thought it was great.
The garden helped our school by supplying basil for the cafeteria's pasta day and by adding a compost bin that cut trash at lunch.
The garden helped in ways that are hard to explain, but it was good.
Explanation
Choice C adds concrete, specific details (basil for pasta day and a compost bin that reduced lunch trash), which develops the idea. The other choices are vague, general, or repetitive.
Student Draft: I volunteered at a place with animals after school. I wanted to help out and see what it was like. On the first day, I did some tasks that needed to be done. I met some people and learned a few things. The animals were there for different reasons, and we had to do things for them. Sometimes it was busy, and sometimes it was calm. I noticed something important about responsibility. The shelter made a difference in the community in a way that mattered. There was one dog that stood out to me for reasons that are hard to explain. Overall, it was an experience I will remember.
Which revision best develops the idea with details?
I learned responsibility by logging feeding times on a clipboard, measuring kibble with the red scoop, and sanitizing kennels before the next animal arrived.
Responsibility is super important, and you need it for things.
The shelter had animals and people working there every day.
I noticed something important, and it changed me in many ways.
Explanation
Choice A adds specific actions (logging feedings, measuring portions, sanitizing kennels) that clearly develop the idea of responsibility. The other choices are vague, general, or irrelevant.
Student Draft: Our class went on a trip to a museum. We were excited to see things and learn. On the bus, people talked about stuff. When we arrived, we went into different areas. There were exhibits that showed various things. I paid attention to certain parts that seemed important. We did an activity that taught us something, and it made me think. I had a reaction that is hard to describe. The museum connected to our class in a way. The day felt long but also quick. In the end, the trip changed how I see things somewhat. Our teacher said it would help with our next project.
Which revision best develops the idea with details?
We did a cool activity that was fun.
The activity connected to school and learning about things.
The museum has exhibits and labs for visitors.
We built a model bridge with craft sticks in the engineering lab and tested how many weights it held before breaking, which explained tension and compression.
Explanation
Choice D supplies concrete details about the activity (bridge building, weights, tension/compression) that develop the idea. The other choices are too general, vague, or off-topic.
Student Draft: I decided to try baking bread at home. I had seen people do it and thought it would be interesting. I looked at some directions and gathered the things. At first, I wasn't sure what to do, but I tried anyway. I mixed stuff and waited for some time. There were steps that mattered, and I had to pay attention. The process taught me about patience in a way. My family noticed what I did, and they had thoughts. The bread turned out in a certain way that was okay. I learned a lesson that could apply to other things too.
Which revision best develops the idea with details?
The process taught me a lot of things about life.
I learned to be patient by timing a 1-hour rise without poking the dough, kneading for ten minutes until it stretched thin, and waiting for the crust to cool before slicing.
Bread is made of ingredients and steps that people follow.
Being patient is important, and people should be patient.
Explanation
Choice B adds precise actions and measurements that show patience in practice, developing the idea. The other choices are broad, repetitive, or off-topic.