Revising for Clarity
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ISEE Lower Level: Essay › Revising for Clarity
Read the essay. Which sentence should be removed to eliminate redundancy?
Paragraph 1: A healthy lifestyle helps kids do well each day. It includes eating well, moving often, and sleeping enough. These habits help your body and your mind.
Paragraph 2: Eating healthy foods gives you steady energy. Whole grains and fruits can help you feel full longer. Eating healthy foods gives you steady energy.
Paragraph 3: Exercise makes muscles stronger and moods better. Even a short walk after dinner can help. Playing outside with friends is also good exercise.
Paragraph 4: Sleep helps your body grow and repair itself. Without enough sleep, you may feel cranky at school. A regular bedtime can make mornings easier.
Paragraph 5: In conclusion, healthy living is made of simple habits. Good food, exercise, and sleep support you every day. Small choices can add up over time.
A healthy lifestyle helps kids do well each day.
Eating healthy foods gives you steady energy.
A regular bedtime can make mornings easier.
Even a short walk after dinner can help.
Explanation
This question tests ISEE Lower Level skills: revising for clarity, organization, and conventions in essay writing. Revising involves improving sentence clarity, ensuring ideas are logically organized, and correcting grammar and style. In this passage, paragraph 2 contains the exact same sentence twice: 'Eating healthy foods gives you steady energy' appears at the beginning and end of the paragraph, creating redundancy. Choice B is correct because this repeated sentence should be removed to eliminate redundancy and improve the paragraph's clarity. The other sentences provide unique information and support the essay's main points. To help students: Encourage them to read paragraphs carefully to spot repeated ideas, teach them that each sentence should add new information, and practice identifying and removing redundant content.
Read the essay. Which sentence should be revised to improve grammar and style?
Paragraph 1: I think a healthy lifestyle matters for kids. It helps us feel strong, think clearly, and stay happy. There are many reasons for it, and some are simple.
Paragraph 2: First, eating good food gives your body energy. Fruits and vegetables help your skin and bones. I eat lunch at school, and it is sometimes pizza.
Paragraph 3: Also, exercise keeps your heart working well. Running, biking, and sports are fun for many kids. My friend plays soccer, and he run fast.
Paragraph 4: Sleep is important, because it helps your brain rest. When you sleep enough, you can pay attention. Some people stay up late on weekends, and then they feel tired.
Paragraph 5: In conclusion, healthy habits help in many ways. Food, exercise, and sleep all matter every day. You should try them, and it will be great.
My friend plays soccer, and he run fast.
Sleep is important, because it helps your brain rest.
Fruits and vegetables help your skin and bones.
In conclusion, healthy habits help in many ways.
Explanation
This question tests ISEE Lower Level skills: revising for clarity, organization, and conventions in essay writing. Revising involves improving sentence clarity, ensuring ideas are logically organized, and correcting grammar and style. In this passage, sentence B contains a grammatical error where the verb 'run' should be 'runs' to agree with the singular subject 'he'. Choice B is correct because 'My friend plays soccer, and he run fast' contains a subject-verb agreement error that needs correction. The other choices are grammatically correct and stylistically appropriate for the essay. To help students: Encourage them to read sentences aloud to catch grammatical errors, teach them to identify subject-verb agreement rules, and practice recognizing when verbs need to match their subjects in number.
Read the essay. Which sentence should be revised to improve grammar and style?
Paragraph 1: Our class took a memorable vacation to a museum. It was a field trip, but it felt special. I learned a lot and had fun.
Paragraph 2: First, we rode the bus downtown. The driver was friendly and told jokes. Me and Jordan sat near the front.
Paragraph 3: Next, we saw dinosaur bones in a huge hall. The guide explained how fossils form. I was amazed by a tall skeleton.
Paragraph 4: After lunch, we made art in a workshop. I painted a bright mask with blue shapes. Then we visited the gift shop quickly.
Paragraph 5: In conclusion, the trip was a great day. I liked learning, making art, and being with friends. I want to go again soon.
Next, we saw dinosaur bones in a huge hall.
The driver was friendly and told jokes.
Me and Jordan sat near the front.
I painted a bright mask with blue shapes.
Explanation
This question tests ISEE Lower Level skills: revising for clarity, organization, and conventions in essay writing. Revising involves improving sentence clarity, ensuring ideas are logically organized, and correcting grammar and style. In this passage, sentence C contains a grammatical error in pronoun usage where 'Me and Jordan' should be 'Jordan and I'. Choice C is correct because 'Me and Jordan sat near the front' uses incorrect pronoun case; when the pronoun is part of the subject, it should be 'I' not 'me', and conventionally, the first person pronoun comes last. The other sentences are grammatically correct and appropriate for the narrative. To help students: Teach them proper pronoun usage in subject position, practice the trick of removing the other person to test pronoun choice, and emphasize putting oneself last in compound subjects.
Read the essay. How can the transition between paragraphs be improved?
Paragraph 1: A plant grows from a small seed to a big plant. Each step depends on the one before it. The steps can be easy to understand.
Paragraph 2: First, the seed absorbs water and swells. A root pushes down into the soil. This helps the plant take in water.
Paragraph 3: The plant needs soil, and soil is brown. Next, a stem grows upward toward light. Leaves open and begin making food.
Paragraph 4: After that, the plant grows taller and stronger. It may grow buds that become flowers. Flowers can make seeds for new plants.
Paragraph 5: In conclusion, plants grow in a clear order. Water starts the process, and light helps later. With care, plants can thrive.
Start paragraph 3 with: "For example, soil is brown and soft."
Start paragraph 3 with: "However, the seed absorbs water and swells."
Start paragraph 3 with: "Next, the stem grows upward toward light."
Start paragraph 3 with: "Anyway, plants are interesting to look at."
Explanation
This question tests ISEE Lower Level skills: revising for clarity, organization, and conventions in essay writing. Revising involves improving sentence clarity, ensuring ideas are logically organized, and correcting grammar and style. In this passage about plant growth, paragraph 3 begins with an irrelevant sentence about soil being brown before jumping to the next growth stage. Choice B is correct because starting with 'Next, the stem grows upward toward light' provides a clear transition that continues the sequential explanation of plant growth stages. The current opening sentence disrupts the logical flow, while the suggested revision maintains chronological order. To help students: Teach them to use sequence words effectively, practice identifying irrelevant sentences that interrupt flow, and emphasize maintaining focus on the main topic throughout each paragraph.
Read the essay. How can the transition between paragraphs be improved?
Paragraph 1: School uniforms should be required in middle school. They can help students focus and feel included. I believe uniforms solve several common problems.
Paragraph 2: Uniforms can reduce teasing about clothing brands. When everyone dresses the same, fewer students feel left out. Some students still like to show style.
Paragraph 3: Another reason is that uniforms save time. In the morning, students do not argue over outfits. I also think uniforms are comfortable most days.
Paragraph 4: Uniforms can help school safety too. Visitors stand out more easily on campus. Lots of schools already use them in other states.
Paragraph 5: In conclusion, uniforms can help students in many ways. They reduce teasing, save time, and improve safety. Schools should consider using them.
Start paragraph 3 with: "In addition, uniforms can save time each morning."
Start paragraph 3 with: "For example, some students like brands."
Start paragraph 3 with: "However, uniforms can reduce teasing."
Start paragraph 3 with: "Anyway, uniforms are a big deal."
Explanation
This question tests ISEE Lower Level skills: revising for clarity, organization, and conventions in essay writing. Revising involves improving sentence clarity, ensuring ideas are logically organized, and correcting grammar and style. In this passage, paragraph 3 needs a transition that connects it to the previous paragraph while introducing a new supporting point about uniforms. Choice C is correct because 'In addition, uniforms can save time each morning' provides a smooth transition that adds another benefit to the discussion while maintaining logical flow. Choices A and B incorrectly reference content from the previous paragraph, while choice D uses informal language ('Anyway') that weakens the transition. To help students: Teach them to use transitional phrases that show relationships between ideas, practice identifying how paragraphs connect logically, and emphasize the importance of formal language in academic writing.
Read the essay. Which sentence should be revised to improve grammar and style?
Paragraph 1: A healthy lifestyle is important for kids. It helps you learn better and feel good. It also helps you stay strong over time.
Paragraph 2: One part is eating balanced meals. You should eat protein, fruits, and vegetables each day. People should of drink water instead of soda.
Paragraph 3: Another part is moving your body often. Exercise can lower stress and improve sleep. It can be as simple as jumping rope.
Paragraph 4: Sleep is the third part of health. Most kids need many hours each night. Without sleep, it is harder to focus at school.
Paragraph 5: In conclusion, health comes from daily habits. Eating well, moving, and sleeping help you. These choices can make life better.
People should of drink water instead of soda.
Exercise can lower stress and improve sleep.
A healthy lifestyle is important for kids.
You should eat protein, fruits, and vegetables each day.
Explanation
This question tests ISEE Lower Level skills: revising for clarity, organization, and conventions in essay writing. Revising involves improving sentence clarity, ensuring ideas are logically organized, and correcting grammar and style. In this passage, sentence C contains a grammatical error with the phrase 'should of' which should be 'should have'. Choice C is correct because 'People should of drink water instead of soda' contains this common grammatical mistake that needs correction to 'should have drunk' or 'should drink'. The other sentences are grammatically correct and stylistically appropriate. To help students: Teach them the difference between 'of' and 'have' in verb phrases, encourage careful proofreading for common errors, and practice identifying correct verb forms in context.
Read the essay. Which sentence should be revised to improve grammar and style?
Paragraph 1: School uniforms can help students in several ways. They may reduce distractions during class. I think they also help students feel equal.
Paragraph 2: One benefit is fewer clothing arguments. Students do not worry about brands as much. This can make mornings calmer at home.
Paragraph 3: Another benefit is better focus in class. When outfits are simple, students think more about learning. Teachers can spend less time on dress code.
Paragraph 4: Uniforms can support safety at school. It is easier to spot visitors in the building. The school should of explain the rules clearly.
Paragraph 5: In conclusion, uniforms can help with focus and safety. They can also reduce pressure about clothing. Schools should consider this policy.
It is easier to spot visitors in the building.
When outfits are simple, students think more about learning.
Students do not worry about brands as much.
The school should of explain the rules clearly.
Explanation
This question tests ISEE Lower Level skills: revising for clarity, organization, and conventions in essay writing. Revising involves improving sentence clarity, ensuring ideas are logically organized, and correcting grammar and style. In this passage about school uniforms, sentence D contains the grammatical error 'should of' which should be 'should have'. Choice D is correct because 'The school should of explain the rules clearly' contains this common mistake that needs correction to 'should have explained' or 'should explain'. The other sentences are grammatically correct and support the essay's arguments effectively. To help students: Reinforce the difference between 'of' and 'have' after modal verbs, encourage careful proofreading for commonly confused words, and practice identifying correct auxiliary verb usage.
Read the essay. Which sentence should be revised to improve grammar and style?
Paragraph 1: My best vacation was a trip to the mountains. I remember it because I tried hiking. The air felt cool and clean.
Paragraph 2: We arrived at the cabin after a long drive. Then we unpacked our bags and made hot chocolate. The cabin had a small porch.
Paragraph 3: The next day we hiked to a lake. I seen a deer near the trees. We ate sandwiches and skipped stones.
Paragraph 4: Later we visited a town and bought postcards. Before that, we watched a movie at the cabin. I fell asleep during the movie.
Paragraph 5: In conclusion, the trip made me feel brave. I liked being outdoors with my family. I want to go back someday.
Later we visited a town and bought postcards.
I seen a deer near the trees.
We arrived at the cabin after a long drive.
I want to go back someday.
Explanation
This question tests ISEE Lower Level skills: revising for clarity, organization, and conventions in essay writing. Revising involves improving sentence clarity, ensuring ideas are logically organized, and correcting grammar and style. In this passage, specific sentences contain vague language and weak transitions that disrupt the flow. Choice B is correct because it contains an irregular verb error ('seen' should be 'saw'), requiring revision for proper grammar. Choice A is incorrect because it is grammatically sound and fits the narrative. To help students: Encourage them to read passages aloud to catch awkward phrasing, teach them to identify and fix vague language, and practice rearranging paragraphs for logical flow.
Read the essay. Which sentence should be revised to improve grammar and style?
Paragraph 1: Plants grow through steps that happen in nature. Each step helps the plant survive. The process starts with a seed.
Paragraph 2: First the seed gets water and swells. Next a root grows down into soil. The root hold the plant in place.
Paragraph 3: Then a stem grows up toward the light. Leaves open and make food from sunlight. This helps the plant grow taller.
Paragraph 4: Later the plant may grow flowers and fruit. Flowers can lead to new seeds. This continues the plant life cycle.
Paragraph 5: In conclusion, plant growth follows an order. Water, soil, and sunlight support each step. Plants need these resources to thrive.
Next a root grows down into soil.
The root hold the plant in place.
First the seed gets water and swells.
Leaves open and make food from sunlight.
Explanation
This question tests ISEE Lower Level skills: revising for clarity, organization, and conventions in essay writing. Revising involves improving sentence clarity, ensuring ideas are logically organized, and correcting grammar and style. In this passage, specific sentences contain vague language and weak transitions that disrupt the flow. Choice C is correct because it has a subject-verb agreement error ('root hold' should be 'root holds'), requiring revision. Choice A is incorrect because it is grammatically correct and clear. To help students: Encourage them to read passages aloud to catch awkward phrasing, teach them to identify and fix vague language, and practice rearranging paragraphs for logical flow.
Read the essay. What is the best way to organize the events in the narrative?
Paragraph 1: Last summer, my family took a beach vacation. It was exciting, and I want to tell about it. Many fun things happened, but I mix them up.
Paragraph 2: First, we ate ice cream after dinner. Then we packed the car at home. My sister found her sunglasses in the sand.
Paragraph 3: The next morning, we drove for three hours. We checked into the hotel and dropped our bags. Later, we watched the sunset from the pier.
Paragraph 4: On the last day, we built a sandcastle. I learned to boogie board that afternoon. After that, we bought snacks for the drive.
Paragraph 5: In conclusion, the trip was memorable and fun. I liked the beach, the food, and the games. I hope we go back soon.
Move the conclusion to the beginning of the essay.
Put paragraph 4 before paragraph 3.
Move "Then we packed the car at home" before ice cream.
Add more details about the hotel room size.
Explanation
This question tests ISEE Lower Level skills: revising for clarity, organization, and conventions in essay writing. Revising involves improving sentence clarity, ensuring ideas are logically organized, and correcting grammar and style. In this narrative, the chronological order is confused in paragraph 2, where eating ice cream happens before packing the car, which doesn't make logical sense for a vacation sequence. Choice B is correct because moving 'Then we packed the car at home' before the ice cream creates a logical timeline: pack, travel, then enjoy vacation activities. The other options either don't address the chronological confusion or suggest changes that would worsen the organization. To help students: Teach them to identify time order words, practice arranging events chronologically, and emphasize checking that narratives follow a logical sequence from beginning to end.