Writing Standards: Strengthening Writing for Purpose and Audience (CCSS.W.9-10.5)
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Common Core High School ELA › Writing Standards: Strengthening Writing for Purpose and Audience (CCSS.W.9-10.5)
Many people have read Shirley Jackson's 'The Lottery,' and it's about a town that does a lottery every year. In my essay, I will talk about the black box and the stones and the people and how everyone is nervous. First, the story starts with a nice day and blooming flowers, then the kids gather stones. Later, the men arrive, and then the names are called. The black box is old and splintered, which is important to mention. In conclusion, the story shows tradition and surprise because the ending is shocking. Jackson makes the reader feel this shock through her descriptions. To sum up, in the story, things happen in an order that leads up to the event, which is the lottery, and then Tessie gets chosen. I think the message is that sometimes we just do things. The story is very interesting and lots of people like it.
For an analytical essay aimed at a teacher expecting interpretation, which revision approach would most effectively strengthen this draft's focus and organization?
Fix comma splices and vary sentence length to improve flow without changing the structure.
Develop a clear analytical thesis and reorganize body paragraphs around claims supported with relevant quotations and commentary.
Add a creative hook and much more plot summary to make it engaging for general readers.
Insert a personal narrative about how the story made you feel to connect emotionally.
Explanation
The draft summarizes without analysis. Crafting a precise thesis and restructuring around claim–evidence–analysis directly serves the academic purpose and audience; the other options are minor, misaligned, or purely personal.
Dear School Board Members, Honestly, the vending machines are a total disaster and everyone knows it. They are stuffed with junk and it's like you don't even care about students' health. We walk past them every day, and they basically force us to buy chips and soda after practice. Kids are broke but somehow still spend everything there, which is messed up. Plus, the machines are loud, and the lights blink all the time, which is annoying. If I were in charge, I'd just replace them tomorrow with better stuff. I'm not trying to be mean, but this situation is ridiculous and needs to be fixed immediately. We deserve respect, not cavities. Please do something fast because people are fed up, and the machines are gross anyway. Also, my friend got a stuck candy bar once and no one refunded it. That's just wrong.
To persuade a school board effectively, which revision strategy best addresses the major weaknesses for this audience and purpose?
Replace slang with a formal, respectful tone; integrate two credible statistics and one counterargument; structure paragraphs by claim, evidence, and reasoning.
Add more exclamation points and ALL CAPS to convey urgency and passion.
Include a descriptive scene of students buying snacks to paint a vivid narrative picture.
Cut the introduction completely to get to demands faster without adding evidence.
Explanation
The audience requires respectful tone and evidence-based reasoning. Formalizing the voice, adding credible data, and organizing arguments directly strengthen persuasion; the other options are superficial or counterproductive.
Rain rattled the windows, which was like the sky crying, which kind of matched how I felt. I walked down the hallway really fast because I'm an important person with a lot going on that day, and I was thinking about many thoughts. The door at the end was there, and you could tell something big was behind it. I opened it and then suddenly everything happened at once, and it was wild and crazy. The lights flickered like in a movie and there was a noise, and I remembered when I was a kid which is relevant. I stared meaningfully. Then I closed the door. The rain kept going on and on as time passed. Later, I told my friend about it and he said "wow" and we both knew what it meant. Themes include change, isolation, and hope but not in a cheesy way. The important thing is it was dramatic.
For a short story meant to engage readers, which revision plan most effectively addresses the draft's major issues with point of view, showing versus telling, and pacing?
Add three footnotes explaining the symbolism of the window and the rain.
Insert a thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph to clarify the theme explicitly.
Correct all spelling and punctuation errors and keep the plot unchanged.
Recast the scene in consistent close third person, slow the pacing with sensory details and dialogue beats, and arrange events to build rising tension toward the reveal.
Explanation
The draft tells and generalizes with inconsistent perspective. A revision that fixes POV, adds concrete scene details, and structures rising action targets core narrative weaknesses; the other choices are academic, surface-level, or irrelevant.
Hey! I'm just following up bc I sent a message a while ago about that internship thing. I've been slammed with stuff and also super excited, lol. I did a huge project last semester where we like totally crushed it for a local group and I can tell you the whole story because it was awesome and I learned leadership and communication and all that. I'm attaching a resume but it's kind of old because I haven't had time to update it, sorry! Anyway I was wondering what's up with the application. If there are forms or whatever, I can do them. I'm free most days except when I'm not. Hit me back whenever. Thanks!! P.S. my phone is dying so if I don't respond right away that's why.
For a professional email to an internship coordinator, which revision approach best aligns tone and structure with the audience and purpose?
Expand the story of your school project to showcase personality and creativity.
Add emojis and jokes to create a friendlier, more casual voice.
Rewrite with a clear subject line, professional greeting, concise purpose and specific ask, brief qualifications, and a polite closing; remove slang and tighten sentences.
Attach your entire eight-page resume to provide complete background information.
Explanation
Professional communication requires clarity, concision, and a respectful tone. Rewriting for structure and tone while stating a specific ask addresses the key needs; the other options are informal, unfocused, or excessive.
As I read the novel, the river shows up a lot and that means nature is important. First, the river is in chapter one when the main character walks by it, and then it appears later at night, and also there's a storm. The river is also wet and cold, which could suggest that things are difficult. Another important thing is the ending, which is interesting, and the river is there too. In conclusion, the author uses symbolism to tell us that life is hard and people are complicated. For example, the main character loses a scarf and that means loss. Readers will understand this because everyone has seen rivers. This essay will try to explain some symbols and show that the book is deep. I will tell the plot so the audience knows what happened and include at least three quotes.
Which revision approach would most effectively strengthen this analytical essay for an academic audience?
Create an outline that groups body paragraphs by a specific symbol (river, storm, scarf), revise the thesis to an arguable claim about how these symbols reveal the protagonist's conflict, and integrate concise quotations followed by analytical commentary rather than plot summary.
Replace all references to the river with synonyms to avoid repetition and add more transition words between sentences.
Open with a personal anecdote about my favorite place by water to hook the reader and add more plot details from every chapter.
Add two more quotes without explanation and a concluding paragraph that repeats the introduction verbatim.
Explanation
The draft lacks a clear analytical thesis and relies on summary. Outlining by symbol, revising to a focused claim, and adding evidence with commentary addresses the most significant issues for an academic audience. The other options make surface-level or misaligned changes without improving analysis or organization.
School should start later, obviously. Anyone who thinks waking up before dawn is "character building" must enjoy torturing teenagers. I drag myself into first period like a zombie, which proves the point. Some friends agree with me, and I saw a TikTok that said sleep is important. Also, buses are loud. If you people on the board really cared, you'd just fix it already instead of doing another "study." We could just start at 10 and end at 3—problem solved. Anyway, students can't focus and teachers are cranky. Imagine how happy everyone would be if you listened to us for once. I'm turning this in to the school newspaper to convince the board to change the bell schedule. I don't have time to look up statistics, but it's common sense. I might add more rhetorical questions and exclamation points to sound passionate!!!
For the purpose of persuading the school board, what revision strategy would most improve this op-ed?
Cut the paragraph length by half and add a few jokes to keep readers engaged.
Reframe the tone to respectful and solution-oriented for an adult audience, clarify a precise claim, organize reasons logically, and incorporate credible research (sleep studies, attendance data) and a brief counterargument.
Insert more personal narrative about my morning routine and describe breakfast in sensory detail to make the piece vivid.
Run a quick spell-check and fix comma usage without changing content.
Explanation
The piece needs credible evidence, logical organization, and an appropriate tone for an adult decision-making audience. Option B targets those high-priority needs. The other options focus on style, anecdotes, or surface edits and do not address the lack of evidence and the counterproductive tone.
Everyone was mad and sad and then things were okay. The town had a festival, which was nice, and there were smells of food and music and lots of stuff happened quickly. I will tell the reader that Maya had problems with her brother before, and also last summer the bridge fell down which is important. Suddenly, Maya feels better because the lights are pretty. She thinks of everything that ever happened to her and realizes that people are complicated. Then there is a chase, and a memory, and a dream, and another memory, and it is very intense. The story switches to her brother's thoughts briefly to explain his motives, and then back to Maya to explain more things. In the end she says it was all like a kaleidoscope, which is a metaphor. This is for a literary magazine, so it should sound poetic and use big words.
What revision would best strengthen this story excerpt for a literary magazine audience?
Add an epigraph from a famous poem at the beginning and include more similes in every sentence.
Switch to second person to make it experimental and add three dream sequences.
Commit to a consistent close third-person point of view centered on Maya, restructure the scene to focus on one pivotal festival moment, and replace explanatory backstory with dramatized action and sensory details that show her change.
Correct grammar and vary sentence length while keeping the same sequence of events and point-of-view shifts.
Explanation
The draft lacks focus, shows/tells imbalance, and inconsistent POV. Option C targets these structural and narrative issues by focusing the scene, maintaining POV, and dramatizing key moments—improvements most relevant to purpose and audience. The other options add ornamentation or surface edits without addressing core problems.
hey there! just checking in about that community cleanup thing we kinda talked about last week. i think saturday afternoon maybe works? not sure how many people or supplies we need, but we'll figure it out as we go. could you bring whatever you have? lol. we'll probably meet at the park and then see what happens. i can send a flyer later if i have time. if you can't, no biggie—maybe sometime next month or whenever. i have soccer so i might be late, but text me and we'll coordinate. we want to involve families but we haven't asked anyone yet. i think trash bags, gloves, rakes, and maybe water would be helpful, or something like that, but it's fine if not. we can sort details on the day of. also, i don't have an exact address for the meet-up but it's the big park by the river, near the statue. if you know anyone else who wants to help, just forward this to them. i can send a permission slip later or just have people show up. whatever works! thanks!! :)
To make this message appropriate and effective for a community partner, which revision approach is best?
Keep the friendly tone and add a motivational quote and emoji in the signature to sound approachable.
Attach several large photos from past events and change the font to bright colors so the email stands out.
Add more humor and inside jokes to build rapport and include a poll about snacks; leave plans flexible to feel collaborative.
Revise to a professional tone: put the purpose and specific request in the opening sentence, specify date/time/location, needed supplies and roles, provide a concise schedule, confirm the point of contact and deadline for reply, and close courteously.
Explanation
The draft is too casual and vague for a professional partner. Option D prioritizes clarity of purpose, concrete logistics, and respectful tone—all essential to the audience and task. The other options change style or appearance without providing clear asks or timelines.
My essay is about courage in a classic novel. The main character faces many obstacles like storms, arguments, and travel, and he finally gets home. First he leaves, then he meets people, and later he learns lessons. This shows courage because he keeps going. In paragraph one I will talk about the beginning. In paragraph two I will tell more about the middle. The book has themes and symbols, such as water and doors, which are important. I think the author wants us to understand life is hard. Also, the scenes are interesting. The ending is surprising and emotional.
Overall, the book is good and readers today can learn from it. This essay will explain the story and why it is meaningful. I might add a few quotes if I can find them, but the plot already proves my point. The conclusion will repeat how courage matters.
Which revision approach would most effectively strengthen this academic analysis for a teacher and classmates?
Correct comma splices and standardize verb tense throughout without changing content.
Craft a precise thesis about how the author develops courage and reorganize body paragraphs around analytical claims supported by concise, relevant quotations and commentary, cutting plot summary.
Add a personal anecdote about a time I showed courage to make the essay more relatable.
Move the conclusion to the beginning to hook readers, keeping the rest of the essay the same.
Explanation
The draft lacks a clear thesis and relies on plot summary. Developing a focused claim and restructuring around evidence and analysis addresses the core purpose and audience of an academic essay. The other options either make surface fixes, add irrelevant material, or rearrange without improving focus or depth.
To the school board: the cafeteria food is a disaster and everyone hates it. The pizza is greasy and the veggies are boring. I've heard tons of people say they skip lunch because it's gross. If you cared about students, you would make it healthier right away. I am very upset about this and it makes me mad just writing it. The menu is the same every week, which proves the system is broken. Students need better food to succeed, so please fix it. You should add better options and more salads and also smoothies and maybe tacos. I don't know the exact costs but it can't be that hard, and other schools do it, I think. Anyway, this needs to change now because everyone knows it's a problem. If you don't, students will keep being hungry and tired and our test scores will suffer because of the food situation.
Which revision approach best improves this persuasive piece for an adult school board audience?
Replace strong words like disaster with nicer synonyms while keeping the same claims and structure.
Add more personal stories from my friends to show how bad the food feels to us.
Insert a rhetorical question at the start and end to make the letter sound dramatic.
Research and integrate credible data (nutrition guidelines, cost estimates, examples from nearby districts), revise tone to respectful and solutions-focused, and reorganize around two or three clear proposals with a brief counterargument and rebuttal.
Explanation
For a school board, credible evidence, respectful tone, and clear, feasible proposals are essential. Option D addresses the major weaknesses—vagueness, accusatory tone, and loose organization—aligning the revision with purpose and audience. The other options tweak style or add anecdotes without supplying substance or improving structure.