Language Standards: Precise and Concise Language (CCSS.L.7.3)
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Common Core 7th Grade ELA › Language Standards: Precise and Concise Language (CCSS.L.7.3)
Science lab report: In conclusion, the final result at the end showed that plants grew more with light. The reason why this happened is because of photosynthesis, which is the process that helps plants make food.
Which sentence expresses the idea most precisely?
In conclusion at the end, the results showed plants grew more with light because of the process of photosynthesis.
Plants grew more with light because photosynthesis lets them make food.
The results that we got showed that plants, when given light, grew more due to photosynthesis, which is a process that helps them make food.
It happened because of photosynthesis that plants, with light, grew more, which was the final result.
Explanation
Choice B states the finding and cause directly without filler ("in conclusion," "at the end," "the reason why"), making it precise for a report.
Monthly budget update slide: The total sum amount of expenses for the month of May was 4,500 dollars in total. This is a true fact that shows costs increased up.
Which revision best eliminates redundancy?
May expenses totaled 4,500 dollars, showing costs increased.
The total amount of all expenses for the month of May was 4,500 dollars, and this true fact shows costs increased up.
Expenses in May came to a sum total of 4,500 dollars, which shows that they increased up.
During the month of May, the expenses we had were 4,500 dollars in total and this shows they went up.
Explanation
Choice A removes repeated words ("total sum amount," "in total," "true fact," "increased up") and fits the concise style of a presentation slide.
Team message: We need to meet together as a group at 3 PM in the afternoon. Please RSVP back to me if you can attend or not.
Which sentence expresses the idea most precisely?
We need to meet as a group together at 3 PM in the afternoon; please RSVP back to me if you can attend or not.
Let's meet at 3 PM today; please tell me if you can come or if you cannot.
Our group will have a meeting at 3 PM; please let me know if you can attend or not.
Our group will meet at 3 PM; please tell me whether you can attend.
Explanation
Choice D eliminates redundancies ("together," "in the afternoon," "RSVP back," "or not") while staying clear and appropriate for a team message.
Hi team, I'm sending this email to let everyone know about the meeting that we will be having tomorrow in the library at 3:30 p.m. The main purpose of the meeting is to discuss and talk about the field trip plans.
Which revision best eliminates redundancy?
Tomorrow we will have a meeting in the library at 3:30 p.m. The purpose is to discuss field trip plans.
Tomorrow at 3:30 p.m. in the library, we'll meet to discuss field trip plans.
FYI peeps, meet-up tmrw 3:30 lib to chat trips.
I am writing to inform you that there will be a meeting that is going to take place tomorrow at 3:30 p.m. in the library for the purpose of discussing field trip plans.
Explanation
Choice B removes filler and duplicate phrases while keeping all essential details in a professional tone.
In conclusion, the data results show that plants with more sunlight grew taller in height than plants with less sunlight. This indicates and shows that sunlight has an important and significant effect on plant growth.
Which sentence expresses the idea most precisely?
In conclusion, the data results show that plants with more sunlight grew taller in height than plants with less sunlight.
Overall, we can basically see that more sun kind of helps plants get bigger.
Plants exposed to more sunlight grew taller; the data indicate sunlight affects growth.
It can be seen from the data that an effect of sunlight on plant growth is present and exists.
Explanation
Choice C states the finding directly and uses precise verbs without filler or repetition.
My goal for the presentation is to talk about and discuss the steps of the water cycle. I will be presenting the steps in a way that is in order from beginning to end.
Which revision best eliminates redundancy?
The goal that I have for the presentation is to talk about and discuss the water cycle steps in order from start to finish.
I am going to be presenting and explaining the steps that are in the water cycle, from beginning to end, in an ordered way.
FYI, I'm gonna go over water stuff, like, in order.
I will explain the water cycle steps in order.
Explanation
Choice D removes repeated ideas and delivers the plan in one clear, concise sentence.
This week, our cleanup club picked up trash in the park area near the river. We collected a total of 18 full bags of trash altogether.
Which sentence expresses the idea most precisely?
This week, our cleanup club collected 18 bags of trash at the riverside park.
This week, our cleanup club picked up trash in the park area near the river, and we collected a total of 18 full bags of trash altogether.
During the time period of this week, our club did trash pickup in the park near the river and ended up with 18 bags in total at the end.
Our cleanup club did some trash stuff at the park by the river and got like 18 bags.
Explanation
Choice A replaces wordy phrases with precise terms and presents the key result succinctly.
Email to the club: I am writing this email to let everyone know about the upcoming meeting that will happen in the near future on Thursday after school. We absolutely need each and every member to attend because attendance is required.
Which revision best eliminates redundancy?
Our meeting is Thursday after school. Please attend.
I am writing to inform you of the upcoming meeting that will occur on Thursday after school in the near future, and everyone is absolutely required to attend.
Hey guys!!! Meeting soonish on Thurs after school—be there or else!
This email is being sent for the purpose of notifying all members about the meeting that is scheduled to take place on Thursday after school, and, as a reminder, every single member needs to be there in attendance.
Explanation
Choice A is direct and professional for an email: it gives the time and the request without filler. B and D are wordy and repetitive; C is too casual for a club-wide notice.
Lab report: In our experiment, we measured the speed of a toy car at different ramp angles. At 10 degrees, the car averaged 0.4 m/s, and at 30 degrees, it averaged 0.9 m/s.
Which sentence expresses the idea most precisely?
In conclusion, our data seems to show that bigger angles kind of made the car go faster in general.
The car went really fast when the angle was bigger, which was interesting to observe during the lab.
Increasing the ramp angle from 10 to 30 degrees raised the car's average speed from 0.4 to 0.9 m/s.
Based on what we saw, the speed results were impacted by the ramp angle in a way that shows an upward trend over time.
Explanation
Choice C is precise and concise, stating exact angles and speeds. A and B are vague and casual; D is wordy and unclear.
Presentation slide: For our field trip fundraiser, we plan to sell snacks to raise money. In order to reach our goal, we need to sell a total and overall amount of 200 items altogether.
Which revision best eliminates redundancy?
We are going to be selling snacks in order to raise money, and we must sell a total amount of 200 items altogether to reach our goal.
We need to sell 200 snacks to reach our goal.
We kind of need, like, 200 or so snacks sold so we can hit our goal, you know?
To accomplish the objective of meeting the goal, our plan is to sell snacks with the intention of reaching 200 items in total overall.
Explanation
Choice B states the goal clearly in few words, ideal for a slide. A and D repeat ideas; C is too casual for a presentation.