Writing Standards: Writing Narratives with Characters, Dialogue, and Clear Sequences (CCSS.W.3.3)
Help Questions
Common Core 3rd Grade ELA › Writing Standards: Writing Narratives with Characters, Dialogue, and Clear Sequences (CCSS.W.3.3)
On Saturday our class went to the school garden. The beds looked dry, and the shed door stuck a little. I held a small packet of bean seeds while kids walked back and forth. I knelt in the dirt and made a few holes with my finger. I wasn't sure if they were the right distance apart. I glanced at my friend with a watering can. The sun felt warm on my shoulders, and a breeze moved the leaves. Then I stared at the soil, wondering what should happen.
Which revision would best strengthen the story by adding clear sequence, details, or a sense of closure?
Before we found the tools, the tiny sprouts popped out of the ground and waved.
The horticultural project commenced as our cohort engaged in soil calibration and precise seed distribution.
After I spaced the seeds, I covered them gently, and my friend poured water until the dark soil glistened; I smiled, feeling proud to start our garden.
We will win a ribbon at the harvest festival later this year because our beans will be huge.
Explanation
Choice C adds a temporal phrase (After), concrete actions, and feelings that move the scene forward and provide a small sense of closure. The others either jump ahead in time or use tone that is too advanced and break the natural order.
At my birthday party, music played and cousins crowded the living room. Balloons bumped the ceiling. The cake sat on the table with blue frosting and candles waiting. My dog wiggled under the chairs. I carried plates to the kitchen and heard a shout. When I turned, my brother was by the table. His foot caught on a streamer. The cake slid. My eyes went wide, and everyone stopped talking. I stood there holding the plates and didn't say anything.
Which revision would best strengthen the story by adding clear sequence, details, or a sense of closure?
At first I froze, then I whispered, 'It's okay,' and we carefully scooped pieces onto plates while guests started to laugh again.
Before he tripped, we had already eaten all the cake and washed the dishes.
When I turned one, I wore a tiny hat and smashed cake with my hands.
The confection suffered a catastrophic collapse, eliciting collective dismay.
Explanation
Choice A uses temporal words (At first, then), adds dialogue and actions that show characters' responses, and provides a small resolution. The other options either jump in time, break the sequence, or use language too advanced for the story.
I stared at the tall diving board at the community pool. Kids climbed the ladder and jumped while splashes echoed. My toes curled on the warm concrete. My cousin waved and told me I could try. I walked to the ladder, then I stepped back. A whistle blew somewhere, and a cloud moved over the sun. The line got shorter. I breathed in and counted to three. I put one foot on the first step and looked at the water. I didn't move.
Which revision would best strengthen the story by adding clear sequence, details, or a sense of closure?
Before I arrived at the pool, I had already jumped off ten times and won a medal.
The aquatic apparatus loomed, its elevation inducing palpable trepidation.
Suddenly it was winter, and the pool was closed for the year.
Finally, I climbed up slowly, bent my knees, and made a small hop; when I popped up, I was laughing and wanted to go again.
Explanation
Choice D adds the temporal word Finally, shows step-by-step action, and gives a satisfying outcome. The other options jump in time or use vocabulary that doesn't fit the voice and disrupt the sequence.
My little sister wanted to ride without training wheels. We went to the empty parking lot behind the library. She wore her helmet, and I held the back of her seat. A bird chirped from the fence, and a breeze ruffled the trees. She pressed the pedals and the bike wobbled. I told her I would not let go, but my hands felt sweaty. She stared straight ahead. The tires bumped over a crack, and she gripped the bars hard.
Which revision would best strengthen the story by adding clear sequence, details, or a sense of closure?
Before breakfast we cheered and called our grandparents to tell them she learned.
Next, I jogged beside her and said, 'You can do it,' and when she wobbled I steadied the seat until she pedaled on her own.
We sped into a big race and won first place at the park that afternoon.
I commenced an instructional protocol to facilitate balance acquisition.
Explanation
Choice B uses the temporal word Next, adds dialogue, and shows actions that keep the order and move toward a clear outcome. The other options jump ahead or use language that is too advanced for the story's voice.
At the spring fair, our class had a booth where we made paper airplanes. I folded mine and tried a quick throw. It swooped a little and bumped a chair. My friend Mia said I should try again. I felt my hands get sweaty. I looked at the long hallway where everyone was watching. The music from the gym was loud. I wanted my plane to go far. I took a breath and got ready to throw.
Which revision best strengthens the story by adding helpful details, temporal words, and a clear sense of closure?
After wiping my hands, I aimed high. This time the plane glided down the hall, past the chair, and landed by the door. At the end, Mia and I grinned, and I felt proud of my careful folding.
Subsequently, the endeavor culminated in a triumphant demonstration of aerodynamic prowess.
Before I even folded it, the plane landed by the door and everyone cheered.
The chair was blue and the hallway had ten tiles in each row and a poster about fractions.
Explanation
Choice A adds temporal words (After, At the end), concrete actions, and a satisfying ending, improving sequence and closure.
On Saturday morning I opened the curtains and saw white flakes drifting past the window. My yard looked like a marshmallow. I hurried into my boots and grabbed gloves. The snow felt cold and squeaky in my hands. I rolled a small ball, but it kept falling apart. My little brother laughed and threw a tiny snowball at my coat. I wanted to build a snowman taller than me, but I wasn't sure how to make it stay together.
Which revision best strengthens the story by adding helpful details, temporal words, and a clear sense of closure?
Consequently, the precipitation elicited an ineffable sense of wintry nostalgia.
First I packed the snow tight between my gloves. Next I rolled the ball across the yard until it grew heavy and round. Finally we stacked three balls and added a carrot nose, and we waved at our new frosty friend.
After the snowman melted, we decided to start rolling the first ball.
The boots were size six and the garage door was gray with four squares.
Explanation
Choice B uses temporal words (First, Next, Finally), adds useful action details, and provides a clear ending.
At the library, I realized my favorite animal book was missing from my backpack. My stomach felt twisty. I checked under the table and inside my coat pockets. The librarian smiled and asked if I needed help. I remembered reading it last night before bed, but I couldn't picture where I put it after that. I didn't want to pay for a lost book. I stood by the return bin and tried to think of a plan.
Which revision best strengthens the story by adding helpful details, temporal words, and a clear sense of closure?
In retrospect, the misplacement represented a cautionary tale about responsibility.
Before I noticed it was missing, I handed it to the librarian at the desk.
Then I retraced my steps: first the comfy chair, next the window shelf, and finally the return bin. At last I spotted the striped cover peeking out of the slot. I thanked the librarian and felt the twist in my stomach unwind.
The book had exactly 128 pages and a barcode with lots of tiny lines.
Explanation
Choice C adds a logical sequence (first, next, finally) and ends with finding the book and a feeling that closes the moment.
Backstage, the curtain made a soft swishing sound. Our class was about to perform the frog-and-toad play. My costume felt funny, and the elastic under my chin tickled. I peeked at the bright lights and saw families sitting in rows. My line was the first one, and I worried I might forget it. My partner whispered, 'You've got this.' I held my prop leaf and took a small step toward the opening in the curtain.
Which revision best strengthens the story by adding helpful details, temporal words, and a clear sense of closure?
After the show ended, I stepped onto the stage for my first line.
Thereupon, my apprehension transmuted into a profound appreciation of performative arts.
The stage floor had three long boards and a tiny scratch near the left corner.
When the music started, I walked out. First I spoke my line, then I listened for my partner's joke. Finally we bowed together, and I felt light, like a frog ready to leap again.
Explanation
Choice D uses temporal words (First, Finally), shows actions on stage, and ends with a clear, satisfying closing image.
On field day our class went outside. We lined up by the orange cones and waited for a whistle. I ran in a race and tried the long jump. In the egg-and-spoon game I dropped the egg and got grass on my knees. My friends laughed, and I laughed too. The whistle blew a few more times. We walked to the shade and drank water. I felt the ribbon in my pocket. The sun was bright and the day kept going.
Which revision best strengthens the story by adding helpful details, temporal words, or a clear ending?
Add: "However, the exhilarating athleticism rendered me fatigued."
Add: "First we stretched by the cones. Then I ran the race and tried the long jump. After that, in the egg-and-spoon game, I dropped the egg and we laughed. Finally, we rested in the shade, and I tucked a ribbon into my pocket."
Change to: "After the ribbon ceremony, I ran the race and then we started field day."
Add: "List every event and describe exactly how long the grass was."
Explanation
Choice B adds clear temporal words (First, Then, After that, Finally) to show the event order and provides closure by ending with resting and the ribbon.
Grandma set out a bowl while I washed my hands. We found flour, sugar, and chips in the pantry. I cracked an egg and it made a mess on the counter. We stirred the batter slowly. I put small scoops on a sheet, trying to make them even. The oven felt hot when we opened it a little. We waited by the table and listened to sounds in the kitchen. The timer was not ready yet, and I wondered how they would taste.
Which revision best strengthens the story by adding helpful details, temporal words, or a clear ending?
Add: "Subsequently, our culinary endeavor culminated in a delectable assortment of confections."
Change to: "Before we measured flour, we pulled hot trays from the oven and then decided to make cookies."
Add: "The mixing bowl was blue and shiny on the counter."
Add: "As we mixed, Grandma whispered, 'Try a pinch of cinnamon.' When the timer dinged, we waited, then tasted. 'These taste like hugs!' I said. At the end, we wrapped a plate for our neighbor."
Explanation
Choice D adds dialogue, uses temporal signals (When the timer dinged, At the end), and gives the story a warm, clear closure.