Improving Paragraphs

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SAT Writing › Improving Paragraphs

Questions 1 - 10
1

1 Unlike most languages, Esperanto was created artificially and not arrived naturally from other language’s evolution. 2 If you’ve ever traveled in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language, you’ll be familiar with the motives of the creators of Esperanto; a universal language constructed in 1887. 3 It was invented by the linguist L.L. Zamenhof, its name translating roughly to “the hopeful one,” and it was intended as a simple, neutral language that could transfer national differences and promote international harmony.

4 Implementing Esperanto, although, was more difficult than anticipated. 5 Yet more than two million people world-wide are fluent in Esperanto, far more are fluent in so-called global languages, such as English, Mandarin Chinese, Spanish, and Hindi. 6 Linguistically, Esperanto relies within a Latin alphabet and a grammar and vocabulary based primarily on Indo-European languages. 7 Luckily, free online resources, local clubs, and interminable school-sponsored instruction have kept this valuable linguistic experiment from dying out altogether.

In Sentence 2, what punctuation change needs to be made?

replace the semicolon with a comma

replace the comma with a semicolon

replace the comma with a colon

delete the semicolon

delete the comma

Explanation

Here we have (in order) a dependent clause, an independent clause, and a dependent clause. Independent and dependent clauses are always separated by commas.

2

1 They will look hideous, but in some part of the world gooseneck barnacles are trendy delicacies. 2 They are harvested mainly in northern Spain and Portugal, where they are known as, percebes, and in California. 3 Barnacles can be cooked in a variety of ways including in boiling water and hot ash. 4 It is remarkable for its rubbery texture, ugly black color, and claw like shape. 5 Barnacles are also difficult to collect, living on cliff sides and rocks in tumid coastal zones. 6 They are commonly served with lemon, garlic aioli, parsley, and melted butter. 7 They are sometimes even eaten raw! 8 In medieval times people actually believed that gooseneck barnacles gave birth to a species of black goose, henceforth the name.

In Sentence 1, what word should replace “will”?

may

would

will (no change)

did

didn’t

Explanation

The best word here is the hypothetical “may.” “Might” would also be a strong substitution. When speaking about how something "may" appear to anyone who sees it, it will usually be unwise to use language strongly connoting certainty.

3

1 Dehydration is a potentially serious medical condition that arrives when a patients’ metabolic processes are disrupted by a lack of water in the body. 2 What can cause dehydration? 3 Dehydration can be caused by overexertion, sickness (vomiting or diarrhea), or sun exposure; among other factors. 4 Treatments for dehydration include: drinking small quantities of clear fluid and intravenous hydration. 5 Symptoms of dehydration vary by the severance of water loss, but the most common signs are increased thirst, a swollen tongue, dizziness, weakness, and fainting. 6 If treatment is not sanctioned quickly dehydration can result in delirium, seizures, and even death. 7 Dehydration is most often a problem in the developing world, where insect- and water-borne disease and a lack of accessible medical care causing many preventable infant fatalities.

In Sentence 1, what word should replace “arrives”?

arises

enlivens

deprives

arrives (no change)

survives

Explanation

This is a question of standard word usage. A medical condition would arise, or begin to occur, and not arrive, or reach a new location.

4

1 Punk rock developed in the mid-1970s. 2 It was a musical movement that arose out of antiauthoritarian garage bands.3 It was characterized by fast-paced songs, sedimentary lyrics, and a raw loud sound. 4 And often its lyrics were also political. 5 Some of the most famous punk rock bands came from England and the United States and including the Clash, the Sex Pistols, and the Ramones.

6 Punk bands tending to convince a liberal, anti-establishment, sensibility, and they were proponents of individualism, freedom, and nonconformity. 7 (Later in the 1990s “riot grrrl” bands like Bikini Kill and Sleater-Kinney used their punk music to draw attention on feminist concerns.)8 Now you can find, punk bands in cities all around the world.9 By the 1980s, the public was beginning to accept punk music, slowly becoming mainstream.

How should the underlined portion of Sentence 6 be rewritten?

a liberal, anti-establishment sensibility,

a liberal, anti-establishment, sensibility, (no change)

a liberal anti-establishment sensibility

a liberal anti-establishment, sensibility,

a liberal, anti-establishment sensibility

Explanation

We only need commas to separate the discrete adjectives that modify the same noun; we don’t need to separate the adjectives from the noun itself. In this case "liberal" and "anti-establishment" are both being used as adjectives to modify the abstract noun "sensibility," and as such they need to be separated with a comma. No other form of punctuation is appropriate.

5

1 The job of the cryptozoologist is a taciturn one for sure. 2 Being unlike ordinary zoologists, that study the behaviors and lives of a cathartic variety of animals, cryptozoologists track down mythical animals whose existence has never or rarely been proven.

3 There is the Congolese J'ba FoFi, an enormous spider with legs allegedly over three feet long, the mokèlé-mbèmbé, a deadly African water dinosaur, and the phantom cat, an abnormally large feline found in various improbably places. 4 The origins of the word “cryptozoologist” come from the ancient Greek, crypto meaning “hidden” and “zoo” meaning animal.5 Some of the most famous of these mythical animals or cryptids are Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster, and Chupacabra. 6 Many denizens consider cryptozoologists to be pseudoscientists; but, they believe that the discipline’s reliance on anecdotal evidence does not exclude it from the world of serious science.

7 Many of these animals seem too incredible to be believed and yes evidence is often flimsy, but the existence of fossil records sometimes provide evidence to the contrary. 8 As such many doubters attempt to machinate the cryptids’ existence, but cryptozoologists aim to abolish their skepticism.

In Sentence 8, where does a comma need to be added?

After “such”

After “but”

After “attempt”

After “machinate”

No comma should be added

Explanation

“As such” is an introductory phrase that requires a comma after it. "As such" is outside of the fundamental grammatical structure of the sentence, and thus needs to be grammatically separated (with punctuation) from the main clause. All of the other options that suggested adding a comma would have interrupted a clause with a comma in a way that was incorrect.

6

(1) In spite of the numerous museums and schools dedicated to its appreciation, modern art still has yet to achieve the level of popular appreciation that many other art forms experience. (2) Many remain critical of the so-called "non-figurative" turn of European art that occurred in the latter part of the nineteenth and early part of the twentieth century that has had such a profound impact on art production since. (3) Contributing artists Van Gogh, Cézanne and Kandinsky each experimented with constitutive aspects of art works. (4) That is to say, they focused on issues such as how light interacts with objects, how depictions of visual space in a work tease normal perceptual capacities, or how color induces emotional responses. (5) Although they didn't always focus on the "realistic" depiction of figures in a pictorial scene, they nevertheless made significant and lasting contributions to how we think about the techniques and aspects that make up art objects and practice.

How can the significance of the underlined sentence to the overall paragraph best be described?

The underlined sentence illustrates the experimental contributions that each of the individual artists listed in the sentence before it made to modern art.

The underlined sentence explains why these figures of modern art have not received the appreciation that they so deserve.

The underlined sentence lists the contributions that museums and schools have since been dedicated to preserve and protect.

The artistic approaches listed in the underlined sentence explain the necessity for the non-figurative turn in European art.

The underlined sentence provides three reasons for which it makes little sense to talk of a consolidated and abstract notion such as "modern art."

Explanation

That "the underlined sentence illustrates the experimental contributions that each of the individual artists listed in the sentence before it made to modern art" is the best answer here because the other claims are either unjustified or inadequate.

7

1 The lost-wax casting method may sound cryptic, but its really a fairly simple and comprehendible process. 2 It is also known as investment or precision casting. 3 It involves twelve steps in that an artist makes an original wax model; creates rubber and plaster molds from the model; fills the molds with wax; coats the new wax models with a ceramic material; and fires the wax-ceramic mixture into a kiln so that the outer layer becomes a reusable mold and the inner wax melts away. 4 Despite involves technical jingo such as spruing, metal-chasing, and burnout, it is a very versant process that can be applied to everything from jewelry making and sculpture, automobile and gun manufacturing.

5 Lost-wax has been used by sculptors from ancient Greece all the way to modern day Germany. 6 Lost-wax has even been applied to dentistry, it is most frequently used to make gold crowns and inlays.7 Why not give it a try?

In Sentence 1, what word should replace “cryptic”?

cryptic (no change)

cryogenic

cyanate

crepuscular

cryophilic

Explanation

“Cryptic,” which means mysterious or enigmatic, and is the correct word for this sentence. We’re looking for a word that is the opposite of “simple and comprehensible,” and “cryptic” is the only choice that has this meaning.

8

1 The tornado, a dreaded meteorological phenomena and a verifiable force of nature. 2 But what is it really? 3 Also known as a twister or a cyclone, tornadoes are rapidly rotating funnels of air linked between a cloud and either the surface of the earth or water. 4 They are caused by the creation of strong thunderstorms by rotating columns of air, resultantly increased rainfall causes increased downward air movement. 5 Rather than the Richter scale measures the strength of hurricanes the Fujita scale measures the strength of a tornado. 6 This natural disasters’ destructive mite is commemorated in such classic films as the 1996, movie, Twister. 7 And the 2014 “Into the Storm” and even the 2013 sparse “Sharknado.” 8 The Fujita scale, also called the F-scale, was named after an employee at the University of Chicago and originally had 13 different levels. 9 The thirteenth level of the scale is used to describe only the most awe inspiring of tornadoes.

What change should be made to Sentence 8?

It should be deleted

It should not be moved, deleted, or altered in any way.

It should be moved after Sentence 5

It should be rewritten to correct grammatical errors

It should be moved before Sentence 5

Explanation

While grammatically correct, Sentence 8 is not relevant to the passage as a whole. It may be tempting to move it after the sentence in which the Fujita scale is first discussed, but this decision would interfere with the flow of the text and would preserve irrelevant, unnecessary information.

9

1 Punk rock developed in the mid-1970s. 2 It was a musical movement that arose out of antiauthoritarian garage bands.3 It was characterized by fast-paced songs, sedimentary lyrics, and a raw loud sound. 4 And often its lyrics were also political. 5 Some of the most famous punk rock bands came from England and the United States and including the Clash, the Sex Pistols, and the Ramones.

6 Punk bands tending to convince a liberal, anti-establishment, sensibility, and they were proponents of individualism, freedom, and nonconformity. 7 (Later in the 1990s “riot grrrl” bands like Bikini Kill and Sleater-Kinney used their punk music to draw attention on feminist concerns.)8 Now you can find, punk bands in cities all around the world.9 By the 1980s, the public was beginning to accept punk music, slowly becoming mainstream.

How should the underlined portion of Sentence 6 be rewritten?

a liberal, anti-establishment sensibility,

a liberal, anti-establishment, sensibility, (no change)

a liberal anti-establishment sensibility

a liberal anti-establishment, sensibility,

a liberal, anti-establishment sensibility

Explanation

We only need commas to separate the discrete adjectives that modify the same noun; we don’t need to separate the adjectives from the noun itself. In this case "liberal" and "anti-establishment" are both being used as adjectives to modify the abstract noun "sensibility," and as such they need to be separated with a comma. No other form of punctuation is appropriate.

10

1 Want to book a copacetic hotel, or dine at a premier restaurant? 2Your best bet may be: to consult a Michelin Red Guide. 3 These guides have been published by a French company since 1900 and using anonymous “inspectors” to award establishments either zero, one, two, and three stars. (4 Yes, the same company also manufactures tires. 5 It employs more than 100,000 people. 6 The guides were actually established in order for encouraging people to take more car trips to slavish hotels and exclusive restaurants.) 7 Nowadays the Michelin Guides are regarded by some as the ultimate abetters of taste.

In Sentence 7, what word should replace “abetters”?

arbiters

abetters (no change)

arbors

ardors

adders

Explanation

An “abetter,” someone who helps or encourages someone else in wrongdoing, has little to do with the Michelin Guides. An “arbiter,” something that passes judgments or influences others’ decisions, describes the Michelin Guides’ role in society.

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