Writing and Revising Effectively

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Questions 1 - 10
1

As he stepped into the shower that morning, Ronald wondered whether he would be scalded or frozen. It would happen every morning because his neighbors usually took their showers at the same time as he did, and the water temperature would either dip precariously or rise sharply, depending on the day. About five minutes into his shower, he could hear the telltale sound of his neighbors' turning on their shower, and he braced himself. Sure enough, a jet of steaming hot water was shooting through the shower nozzle, and Ronald darted to the side to wait until it cooled down again. As it was January, he was grateful that it wasnt cold water—if it had been, he might of spent the whole morning frozen in a block of ice. Soon the water returned to normal, and Ronald resumed his shower, cursing himself for ever moving into such an old building in the first place.

Choose the answer that best corrects the bolded portion of the passage. If the bolded portion is correct as written, choose "NO CHANGE."

OMIT the bolded portion

NO CHANGE

solid

and cold

Explanation

None of the phrases suggested are necessary, since they either add inaccurate information (he'd be frozen in a block of ice?) or bring nothing to the sentence that "frozen" does not already suggest.

2

In today's society, (1) they have a popular TV series that (2) follows the life of 4-5 (3) young teenage girls who are trying to raise their child while being a teenager at the same time (4). The television series shows hardships, but they (5) focus more on the relationships of these girls rather than how much their baby’s diaper is changed or how often the baby spits up all over them. They always have a happy ending, giving teen girls these days hope that it (6) will do the same for them. The show focuses of (7) a different group of teen moms each season, but all being held back by having a child at a young age. Some are alone, some have significant others, and some even decided to give (8) their baby up for adoption, but not one of their lives are perfect nor easy (9). Some teenagers enjoy watching the show just to watch the babies grow, but others watch it because they think it’s popular, they think it will make them popular as well (10). The show is based upon these girl’s (11) lives and it doesn’t always seem to have to do with their children it has to do with them being teenagers (12).

Choose from the following four options the answer that best corrects the underlined mistake preceding the question number. If there is no mistake or the original text is the best option, choose "NO CHANGE."

but others watch it because they think watching a popular show will make them popular as well

NO CHANGE

but others watch it because they think, since it’s popular, they think it will make them popular as well

but others watch it because they think it will make them popular as well

Explanation

The phrasing "but others watch it because they think watching a popular show will make them popular as well" is the only one of the choices that captures the original intent of the sentence and manages not to introduce any new grammatical problems.

3

In the last day of classes (1), everyone was distracted and unable to do their (2) work. Even the teacher, which normally (3) was attentive and cheery, seems (4) unable to focus. The final test took (5) way too long for everyone to complete, and many of students (6) had put down his head (7) on the desk. The sound of the heat blowing through the room was enough to put everyone (8) to sleep, and the teachers' (9) eyes began drooping despite hisself (10). After what seemed an eternity; (11) the bell had rung (12) and everyone, including the teacher, ran out of the room.

Choose from the following four options the answer that best corrects the underlined mistake preceding the question number. If there is no mistake or the original text is the best option, choose "NO CHANGE."

many of the students

NO CHANGE

the many of students

the many students

Explanation

"Many of the students" completes the phrase grammatically without changing the meaning of it as "the many students" (meaning nearly all of them) would.

4

Speech production is a complicated and complex process, that requires the coordination of three different systems: respiration, phonation, and articulation. A deficit in any of these systems will negatively impact the quality of one’s speech.

We all know that respiration, or breathing, is necessary for life, but have you ever thought about it’s usefulness for speech? Try to talk while holding you’re breath and you will see what I mean. Exhalation provides a stream of air that the next two systems shape into what many people like to call speech.

Phonation happens in your larynx, or voice box. A pair of muscles form a shelf-like structure on either side of your larynx, and this pair of muscles is known as your vocal folds. As you exhale during speech, your vocal fold muscles contract and move towards each other. They vibrate as air passes between them, creating a buzzing sound, and this is a process that is known as phonation. The word “phonation” comes from the ancient Greek word for sound.

Finally, the last stage is articulation. At this final stage, you move your tongue, lips, and jaw to affect the way vibrating air leaves your mouth. For example, when you say the “b” sound, you need to squeeze your lips together to stop the airflow before opening your lips again. For the “v” sound, you touch your top teeth against your lower lip and force air through between your teeth and lip.

Choose the answer that best corrects the bolded portion of the passage. If the bolded portion is correct as written, choose "NO CHANGE."

sound called phonation

NO CHANGE

sound. This is a process that is known as phonation

sound; and this is a process that is known as phonation

Explanation

This sentence contains a wordiness error. The correct answer is the most concise (short) answer that does not alter the meaning of the sentence.

5

Choose the correct version of the following sentence.

Claudia's mother told her to begin her chores, so she began by emptying the trash can, replacing it's bag and then rolled the garbage bin to the street.

Claudia's mother told her to begin her chores and she began by emptying the trash can, replacing its bag and rolling the garbage bin to the street.

Claudia's mother told her to begin her chores, so, she began by, emptying the trash can, replacing its bag, and rolling the garbage bin to the street.

Claudia's mother told her to begin her chores, and she began by emptying the trash can, replacing it's bag and then rolled the garbage bin to the street.

Claudia's mother told her to begin her chores, so she began by emptying the trash can, replacing it's bag and then rolling the garbage bin to the street.

Claudia's mother told her to begin her chores, so she began by emptying the trash can, replacing it's bag and, then she rolled the garbage bin to the street.

Explanation

Claudia's mother told her to begin her chores and she began by emptying the trash can, replacing its bag and rolling the garbage bin to the street.

This is the correct version of the sentence because it (1) removes "so" a poor stylistic choice, (2) removes the apostrophe in "its" to make it possessive, and (3) creates parallel structure by changing "rolled" to "rolling."

6

The cat made it clear to Jeremy whom was the boss around the house. The only time it showed him any affection was when it was time for the cat to be fed, the moment at which it would rub up against his legs and purr loudly enough to be heard. But as soon as the food hit the cat dish, it would run to the dish, gorging itself, and then ignore him the rest of the day. If he attempts to pet the cat at any other time, it will hiss and spit at him trying to bite him. Playing with the cat was even worst because it would wait until Jeremy was dangling something over it's face and then leap up to sink its fangs into his' hand. Eventually he would give up trying to be affectionate toward the cat and simply interacted with it every morning at feeding time. It was safer that way.

Choose the answer that best corrects the bolded portion of the passage. If the bolded portion is correct as written, choose "NO CHANGE."

NO CHANGE

she

he

she or he

Explanation

The gender of the cat remains unknown throughout the passage, so "it" would be the most appropriate and least wordy choice.

7

Choose the word that best completes the sentence.

After spending hours in the summer heat with nothing to drink, Joe felt extremely __________.

parched

requited

sated

satiated

contented

Explanation

The correct answer is "parched" because it is a synonym for "thirsty."

8

The cat made it clear to Jeremy whom was the boss around the house. The only time it showed him any affection was when it was time for the cat to be fed, the moment at which it would rub up against his legs and purr loudly enough to be heard. But as soon as the food hit the cat dish, it would run to the dish, gorging itself, and then ignore him the rest of the day. If he attempts to pet the cat at any other time, it will hiss and spit at him trying to bite him. Playing with the cat was even worst because it would wait until Jeremy was dangling something over it's face and then leap up to sink its fangs into his' hand. Eventually he would give up trying to be affectionate toward the cat and simply interacted with it every morning at feeding time. It was safer that way.

Choose the answer that best corrects the bolded portion of the passage. If the bolded portion is correct as written, choose "NO CHANGE."

worse

NO CHANGE

worser

more bad

Explanation

"Worse" is the comparative form of "bad," which should be used here; "worst" can only be used if three or more objects or actions are being compared, or if the action is the absolute pinnacle of badness (which it is not).

9

Adapted from Looking Backward: 2000 to 1887 by Edward Bellamy (1888)

I first saw the light in the city of Boston in the year 1857. "What" you say "eighteen fifty-seven? That is an odd slip. He means nineteen fifty-seven, of course." I beg pardon, but there is no mistake. It was about four in the afternoon of December the 26th, one day after Christmas, in the year 1857, not 1957, that I first breathed the east wind of Boston, which, I assure the reader, was at that remote period marked by the same penetrating quality characterizing it in the present year of grace, 2000.

These statements seem so absurd on their face, especially when I add that I am a young man apparently of about thirty years of age, that no person can be blamed for refusing to read another word of what promises to be a mere imposition upon his credulity. Nevertheless I earnestly assure the reader that no imposition is intended, and will undertake if he shall follow me a few pages to entirely convince him of this. If I may, then, provisionally assume, with the pledge of justifying the assumption, that I know better than the reader when I was born, I will go on with my narrative.

Which of the following words could best replace the underlined word "mere" in the second paragraph?

trifling

small

slight

sole

Explanation

The word "trifling" means unimportant or trivial, which is closest to the meaning of "mere" in this context.

10

Adapted from "Nature" by Ralph Waldo Emerson (1836)

Whoever considers the final cause of the world, will discern a multitude of uses that result. They all admit of being thrown into one of the following classes; Commodity Beauty Language and Discipline.

Under the general name of Commodity, I rank all those advantages which our senses owe to nature. This, of course, is a benefit which is temporary and mediate, not ultimate, like its service to the soul. Yet although low, it is perfect in its kind, and is the only use of nature which all men apprehend. The misery of man appears like childish petulance, when we explore the steady and prodigal provision that has been made for his support and delight on this green ball which floats him through the heavens. What angels invented these splendid ornaments, these rich conveniences, this ocean of air above, this ocean of water beneath, this firmament of earth between? This zodiac of lights, this tent of dropping clouds, this striped coat of climates, this fourfold year? Beasts, fire, water, stones, and corn serve him. The field is at once his floor his work-yard his play-ground his garden and his bed.

Nature, in its ministry to man, is not only the material, but is also the process and the result. All the parts incessantly work into each other's hands for the profit of man. The wind sows the seed, the sun evaporates the sea, the wind blows the vapor to the field, the ice, on the other side of the planet, condenses rain on this, the rain feeds the plant, the plant feeds the animal, and thus the endless circulations of the divine charity nourish man.

Which of the following would be an acceptable replacement for the underlined word?

lavish

reckless

profligate

imprudent

Explanation

The word "prodigal" has many negative meanings, among which are reckless and imprudent, but when used in a positive sense, as in this context, it can mean lavish.

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