6th Grade ELA Quiz: Develop Writing Through Planning And Revising
20 questions · exam conditions
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Develop Writing Through Planning And RevisingQuestion 1 of 20

A student is revising for sentence variety. Which revision best combines the choppy sentences while keeping the meaning?

Student draft (revising stage):
"The storm started. The wind got louder. The lights went out."

Revise to: "The storm started, and the wind got louder, so the lights went out."
Revise to: "The storm started, but the wind got louder, and the lights went out."
Revise to: "The storm started while the wind got louder, and then the lights."
Revise to: "The storm started, and the wind got louder because the lights went out."
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6th Grade ELA Quiz

6th Grade ELA Quiz: Develop Writing Through Planning And Revising

Practice Develop Writing Through Planning And Revising in 6th Grade ELA with focused quiz questions that help you check what you know, review explanations, and build confidence with test-style prompts.

What this quiz covers

This quiz focuses on Develop Writing Through Planning And Revising, giving you a quick way to practice the rules, question types, and explanations that matter most for 6th Grade ELA.

How to use this quiz

Try each quiz question before looking at the correct answer. Use the explanations to review missed ideas, then come back to similar questions until the pattern feels familiar.

All questions

Question 1

A student is revising for sentence variety. Which revision best combines the choppy sentences while keeping the meaning?

Student draft (revising stage):
"The storm started. The wind got louder. The lights went out."

  1. Revise to: "The storm started, and the wind got louder, so the lights went out." (correct answer)
  2. Revise to: "The storm started, but the wind got louder, and the lights went out."
  3. Revise to: "The storm started while the wind got louder, and then the lights."
  4. Revise to: "The storm started, and the wind got louder because the lights went out."
Explanation: The best revision joins all three short sentences into one smooth sentence and keeps the correct relationships: the storm and wind happen together ("and"), and the lights going out is the result ("so"). Every original idea stays, and the order and cause-effect make sense. The choice using "but" is wrong because "but" signals a contrast, but the wind getting louder does not contradict the storm starting—these ideas belong together, not in opposition. The choice ending "and then the lights" is wrong because it drops the verb, leaving an incomplete idea; you no longer know what happened to the lights, so it loses meaning. The choice using "because the lights went out" is wrong because it reverses the cause and effect. The lights did not go out first to cause the wind—the storm and wind caused the lights to go out, so "because" states the relationship backward. When you combine choppy sentences, pick joining words that match the real relationship between the ideas.

Question 2

A student is editing for conventions before turning in the final copy. Which sentence is edited correctly?

Student draft (editing): "Me and Jordan goes to the library on tuesday."

  1. Jordan and I go to the library on Tuesday. (correct answer)
  2. Me and Jordan go to the library on tuesday.
  3. Jordan and I goes to the library on tuesday.
  4. Me and Jordan goes to the library on Tuesday.
Explanation: Editing fixes grammar, capitalization, and punctuation without changing the meaning. The draft has three problems: the pronoun order and case ("Me and Jordan" should be "Jordan and I"), the verb ("goes" should be "go" for a plural subject), and the day of the week ("tuesday" should be capitalized). The correct sentence fixes all three at once: "Jordan and I go to the library on Tuesday." The choice reading "Me and Jordan go to the library on tuesday" fixes the verb but keeps the wrong pronoun "Me" as the subject and leaves "tuesday" lowercase. The choice reading "Jordan and I goes to the library on tuesday" gets the pronoun order right but uses the singular verb "goes" with a plural subject and still leaves "tuesday" lowercase. The choice reading "Me and Jordan goes to the library on Tuesday" only fixes the capitalization and keeps both the wrong pronoun and the wrong verb. Good editing means catching every convention error, not just some of them.

Question 3

A student is revising this paragraph for development. What should the student add to better support the claim?

Student draft (drafting): "School uniforms are a good idea. They help students. Uniforms make school better."

  1. Add one or two specific reasons or examples, such as less pressure about clothing and fewer dress-code arguments. (correct answer)
  2. Edit by checking every word for spelling, even though the ideas are still unclear.
  3. Replace "good" with "good good good" to show stronger feelings.
  4. Add a sentence about a favorite video game to make the paragraph more fun.
Explanation: This question tests CCSS.W.6.5 (developing and strengthening writing through planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying new approaches with guidance and support). Writers improve through multiple stages: REVISING improves ideas, organization, and style by adding details, deleting irrelevant content, rearranging for flow, replacing vague words, or expanding underdeveloped ideas; claims need specific support through reasons, examples, or evidence; general statements without development leave readers unconvinced. The student is revising for development - the writing problem is insufficient development where the claim "School uniforms are a good idea" is followed only by vague restatements ("They help students," "Uniforms make school better") without any specific reasons or examples explaining HOW uniforms help or WHY they improve schools. The correct answer A recognizes planning benefit by adding specific reasons like "less pressure about clothing and fewer dress-code arguments" - these concrete examples transform empty claims into supported arguments, giving readers actual reasons to consider rather than just repeated assertions that uniforms are "good." Option B suggests editing for spelling when the problem is underdeveloped ideas, not conventions; C shows misunderstanding of emphasis by repeating "good" multiple times, which adds no new information; D proposes adding irrelevant content about video games that doesn't support the uniforms claim. Help students distinguish between claiming and proving: "School uniforms are good" = claim; "School uniforms reduce morning stress because students don't waste time choosing outfits" = claim + specific reason + explanation. Teach development strategies: for each claim, add at least two specific reasons or examples; for each reason, explain HOW or WHY it supports your claim. Model the "Because Test": after any claim, add "because..." and complete with specific reasons - if you can't, the claim needs development. Watch for students who think longer automatically means better - three vague sentences aren't as effective as one specific, well-developed point.

Question 4

During planning, a student is making an outline for an informational essay about hurricanes. What should the student add to the outline to develop the second body paragraph?

Outline (planning): I. Introduction: hurricanes are powerful storms. II. How hurricanes form: warm ocean water + rising air. III. Safety tips:  . IV. Conclusion: be prepared.

  1. Add at least two specific safety tips, such as "make an emergency kit" and "listen to weather alerts." (correct answer)
  2. Add more details to the first body paragraph, such as how warm water gives hurricanes their energy.
  3. Add a fact for the introduction, such as the name of the strongest hurricane on record.
  4. Add a note to check commas and spelling after the whole essay has been fully drafted.
Explanation: The blank sits in section III, the second body paragraph, which only names its topic ("Safety tips") without any content to write about. Good planning fills a topic label with specific supporting points, so adding at least two concrete safety tips like making an emergency kit and listening to weather alerts gives you real material to draft from. Adding details about how warm water fuels hurricanes belongs to the "How hurricanes form" section, not the safety paragraph, so it develops the wrong part of the outline. Adding a strongest-hurricane fact strengthens the introduction, which is also a different section and leaves the safety paragraph empty. Checking commas and spelling is editing, a step you do after drafting to fix conventions; it does not add any planning content to develop this paragraph. Only the first choice puts supporting details into the exact section that needs them.

Question 5

A student received peer feedback: "I don't understand what 'it' refers to." Which revision best clarifies the vague reference?

Student draft (revising): "The science club built a model volcano. It was messy, but it impressed everyone."

  1. The science club built a model volcano. The baking soda eruption was messy, but the volcano demonstration impressed everyone. (correct answer)
  2. The science club built a model volcano. It was messy, but the science club impressed everyone with the whole project.
  3. The science club built a model volcano. The messy activity was fun, but it impressed everyone in the class.
  4. The science club built a model volcano. It was really messy, but it definitely impressed everyone who watched it.
Explanation: The peer reader was confused because "it" could mean the volcano model or the eruption. The best revision replaces both vague pronouns with specific noun phrases: "the baking soda eruption" was messy, and "the volcano demonstration" impressed everyone. Now the reader knows exactly what was messy and what was impressive—no guessing needed. The choice that keeps "It was messy" only fixes the second half; the first "it" is still unclear, so the reader still can't tell what was messy. The choice with "the messy activity was fun" fixes the first reference but leaves a new vague "it" in "it impressed everyone," so half the confusion remains. The choice with "really messy" and "everyone who watched it" just adds extra words like "really" and "definitely" while keeping both vague pronouns exactly as they were. Good revision means making your meaning clear for the reader, so circle every "it," "this," and "they," and ask what each one points to—if more than one thing could be the answer, name it specifically.

Question 6

Read the student's draft and teacher note: "Add specific examples." Which revision best develops the main idea?

Student draft (drafting): "Our school should recycle more. Recycling is good for the environment. It helps a lot. Students can do it."

  1. Our school should recycle more by placing paper bins in every classroom and starting a weekly pickup for bottles and cans. (correct answer)
  2. Our school should recycle more because recycling is good and really important, and everyone knows recycling is truly the best thing we can do.
  3. Our school should recycle more, and the cafeteria food is pretty tasty, and the new gym floor looks bright and shiny this year.
  4. Our school should recycle more, so I will go back and fix my commas, capital letters, and spelling mistakes before I turn this in.
Explanation: The teacher asked for specific examples, so the best revision names concrete actions: putting paper bins in every classroom and starting a weekly pickup for bottles and cans. This tells readers exactly HOW the school could recycle more, turning a vague idea into a real plan. The choice that repeats that recycling is "good," "really important," and "truly the best" just says the same thing louder—it adds no examples and never explains why or how recycling helps. The choice about tasty cafeteria food and a shiny gym floor adds details, but they are off-topic. They do not develop the main idea about recycling, so they don't answer the teacher's note. The choice about fixing commas, capitals, and spelling is editing, not revising. Editing corrects conventions; the teacher asked you to develop the idea with examples, which is a revising job. Fixing spelling wouldn't add any specific examples about recycling. Only the first choice responds directly to the feedback by adding concrete, on-topic details.

Question 7

The student received teacher feedback: "Your conclusion ends abruptly." Which revision best strengthens the conclusion by adding a clear ending?

  1. Add a final sentence like: "People are always busy, so it can be hard to find any free time at all."
  2. Add a final sentence like: "Even one hour a week can make a difference, so choose a cause and get involved." (correct answer)
  3. Add a final sentence like: "Volunteering helps the community and it also teaches people how to be responsible."
  4. Add a final sentence like: "The school cafeteria food could be improved if students shared their ideas with staff."
Explanation: The feedback says the conclusion "ends abruptly," so the paragraph needs a strong final sentence that gives readers closure. The best revision adds "Even one hour a week can make a difference, so choose a cause and get involved." This leaves readers with an encouraging idea and a clear call to action, turning a sudden stop into a purposeful ending. The sentence about people being busy and having no free time actually discourages readers—it works against the essay's message and adds no closure. The sentence that says volunteering helps the community and teaches responsibility just repeats points the draft already made, so it restates instead of finishing with a fresh, memorable thought. The sentence about improving cafeteria food introduces a brand-new topic that has nothing to do with volunteering, which pulls the reader away from the main idea rather than wrapping it up. When feedback says a conclusion is abrupt, look for the choice that adds real closure and points readers forward, not one that repeats, wanders, or undercuts your point.

Question 8

During planning, a student starts an outline for an argument about later school start times but only writes: "School should start later." What should the student add to the outline before drafting to organize ideas?

  1. A list of reasons with supporting details, like sleep, focus, and bus schedules. (correct answer)
  2. A polished conclusion sentence that restates the main point, before any reasons are planned out.
  3. A check of the commas and apostrophes so the wording follows the rules of punctuation.
  4. A single dramatic sentence that grabs attention but does not name any actual reasons.
Explanation: The writer has only a thesis and no plan for how to support it, so the outline needs a framework of ideas before drafting begins. Listing reasons with supporting details, like sleep, focus, and bus schedules, organizes the argument and makes sure every important point has a place. That is exactly what planning is for. Adding a polished conclusion that restates the main point comes too early: a conclusion is supposed to sum up reasons, but no reasons have been planned yet, so there is nothing to wrap up. Checking commas and apostrophes is editing, which fixes conventions after the ideas and draft already exist; it does nothing to organize the argument at the planning stage. Adding one dramatic attention-grabbing sentence might sound exciting, but without naming actual reasons it gives the outline no structure and no points to develop. Only listing reasons and details builds the organized plan the writer needs, so it is the best choice.

Question 9

A student is revising, not editing. Which change shows revising by expanding ideas instead of fixing conventions?

Student draft (revising stage): "The science fair was fun."

  1. Change to: "The science fair was fun because I got to test my volcano experiment and explain my results to judges." (correct answer)
  2. Change to: "The science fair was fun." I capitalized the first word and added an exclamation point for stronger feeling: "The science fair was fun!"
  3. Change to: "The science fair was fun." I fixed the verb so subject and verb agree, since the subject is singular and needs the matching form.
  4. Change to: "The science fair was fun." I moved this sentence to the beginning so the paragraph opens with my clearest main idea.
Explanation: The best answer expands the idea itself. It keeps the original sentence but adds specific details—testing a volcano experiment and explaining results to judges—so readers finally learn WHY the fair was fun. That is revising: you develop and strengthen the ideas. The option that adds capitalization and an exclamation point only changes punctuation and mechanics. That is editing conventions, not growing the idea, so the sentence still tells readers nothing new. The option that fixes subject-verb agreement is also editing. Correcting a verb form makes the sentence grammatically clean, but it adds zero new information about what happened at the fair. The option that moves the sentence to the beginning changes organization, which is one kind of revising—but the sentence stays just as vague. Rearranging a bare statement does not expand the idea; a reader still asks, 'What made it fun?' When you revise for development, answer follow-up questions with concrete actions, examples, or explanations. Only the answer that adds real details about the experiment and the judges does that.

Question 10

Read the student's draft. To revise for development, which sentence should the student add to explain the main idea more clearly?

  1. For example, recycling paper and plastic at lunch could keep bags of trash out of the landfill each week. (correct answer)
  2. Recycling is something that lots of people do in many places, and it is a really nice thing to try.
  3. Some students like eating pizza at lunch, and they usually clean up their tables after they finish.
  4. Everyone should agree that this program is a great idea, and it should get started as soon as we can.
Explanation: The best addition gives a concrete example: recycling paper and plastic at lunch could keep bags of trash out of the landfill each week. This shows readers exactly HOW the program would help the environment, turning vague claims into something specific and measurable. The choice about people recycling in many places and it being 'a nice thing to try' just repeats the same kind of vague, general language already in the draft—it never explains how or why the program helps. The choice about students eating pizza and cleaning tables stays on the lunch setting but drifts off the recycling topic, so it does not develop the main idea. The choice saying everyone should agree it is a great idea and start soon only adds opinion and urgency without any real detail or evidence. When you revise for development, add facts, examples, or explanations that answer 'How?' or 'Why?'—not more general statements, off-topic details, or strong opinions.

Question 11

Read the student's draft and teacher note. Draft: "Our cafeteria should start composting. It would help the environment. We throw away a lot of stuff every day." Teacher: "Add specific examples of what gets wasted." Which revision best develops the idea?

  1. Add a sentence: "Composting helps the environment, and it also saves the school money on trash removal fees each month."
  2. Add a sentence: "Every day we toss banana peels, apple cores, and leftover salad into the trash instead of a compost bin." (correct answer)
  3. Add a sentence: "Many schools and cities around the world have already started composting programs that reduce their waste."
  4. Add a sentence: "Composting is really important, and everybody should care a lot more about helping our planet stay clean."
Explanation: The teacher asked for specific examples of what gets wasted, so the best revision names the actual items thrown away. The sentence listing banana peels, apple cores, and leftover salad gives readers concrete details, replacing the vague phrase "a lot of stuff." That directly answers what the teacher wanted. The sentence about saving the school money adds a new reason to compost, but it does not tell readers what food is being wasted, so it ignores the teacher's request. The sentence about schools and cities around the world adds interesting background, yet it is off-topic—it says nothing about what this cafeteria throws away. The sentence saying composting is important and everybody should care only repeats the general idea with more vague, opinion words; it adds no specific examples at all. Remember: when feedback asks you to "add specific examples," strengthen your writing by naming real, concrete details that support your point—not by adding new reasons, unrelated facts, or bigger opinions.

Question 12

A student is revising for word choice. Which revision best replaces the repetitive word good with more specific language?

Student draft (revising stage):
"Reading is good for your brain. It is a good way to learn new words."

  1. Revise to: "Reading is helpful for your brain. It is a great way to learn new words."
  2. Revise to: "Reading is beneficial for your brain. It is a positive way to learn new words."
  3. Revise to: "Reading strengthens your brain. It is an effective way to build your vocabulary." (correct answer)
  4. Revise to: "Reading is wonderful for your brain. It is a fun way to learn new words."
Explanation: The best revision swaps both vague words for precise language: "strengthens" names exactly what reading does to your brain, and "effective way to build your vocabulary" replaces the fuzzy "good way to learn new words" with a clear, specific action. That is what revising for word choice means—choosing exact words that show your meaning. The version using "helpful" and "great" only trades "good" for other broad, general words that still do not explain how or why reading helps. The version with "beneficial" and "positive" sounds more grown-up, but these words are still general opinion words, not specific actions—they tell you reading is good without showing what it actually does. The version with "wonderful" and "fun" just replaces vague praise with more vague praise; "fun way to learn" is no more precise than "good way." When you revise for word choice, ask "Good in what way?" until you find a word that shows the exact idea, like "strengthens" or "builds."

Question 13

The student received peer feedback on a narrative draft. Draft: "I walked into the gym. I was nervous. The game started." Peer: "I can't picture what you saw or felt." How should the student revise based on this feedback?

  1. Add sensory details, such as the loud cheers and sweaty hands, to develop the scene. (correct answer)
  2. Rearrange the sentences so the game starts before the walk into the gym.
  3. Edit the verbs, such as changing "walked" to "walk," to fix the tense.
  4. Add a paragraph, such as one about a different game, to make it longer.
Explanation: The peer says they "can't picture what you saw or felt," which means the draft needs more description. Adding sensory details like loud cheers and sweaty hands develops the scene so readers can see, hear, and feel what the narrator experienced. That directly answers what the peer needs. Rearranging the sentences changes the order of events, but the peer never said the order was confusing—the events are already clear, just bare of detail. Editing the verb tense fixes a grammar convention; it is editing, not revising for description, and it does nothing to help readers picture the scene. Adding a paragraph about a different game only makes the draft longer with unrelated content and still leaves the original moment thin and hard to imagine. When feedback says a reader "can't picture" something, the fix is adding sensory details—sights, sounds, and feelings—not reordering, correcting grammar, or padding with off-topic material.

Question 14

A student is revising a report about the water cycle. Draft: "Evaporation happens. It is when water goes up. It is important." Which revision best improves coherence by adding a clear transition and explanation?

  1. Revise to: "Evaporation happens. Water goes up into the sky. It is a very important part of the water cycle process."
  2. Revise to: "Evaporation is when the sun heats water and turns it into water vapor; as a result, the vapor rises into the air." (correct answer)
  3. Revise to: "Evaporation happens. It is when water goes up. It's important because the sun makes it warm outside."
  4. Revise to: "Evaporation happens. It is when water goes up. Swimming pools and lakes both hold a lot of water."
Explanation: The draft has three short, disconnected sentences that don't flow or show how the ideas connect. The best revision combines them into one smooth sentence, explains what evaporation actually is ("the sun heats water and turns it into water vapor"), and uses the transition "as a result" to show the cause-and-effect relationship between heating and rising vapor. That is what improves coherence. The choice that keeps three separate sentences and only stretches them out ("Water goes up into the sky") still leaves choppy, disconnected ideas with no transition, so it doesn't fix the coherence problem. The choice that changes "It is" to "It's" only edits a convention and tacks on an unclear reason; it doesn't combine the choppy sentences or add a transition. The choice that mentions swimming pools and lakes adds an off-topic detail that doesn't explain evaporation or connect the ideas. Only the version with a clear explanation and the transition "as a result" guides the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.

Question 15

A student is revising and notices the conclusion ends abruptly. Which addition best strengthens the conclusion?

Student draft (revising): "School lunches should include more fresh fruit. Fruit gives students energy. That is my opinion."

  1. Add: "In conclusion, offering fresh fruit each day could help students focus in class and make lunches healthier for everyone." (correct answer)
  2. Add: "Fruit tastes really good, and many people agree that eating fruit is something they enjoy every single day."
  3. Add: "My favorite fruit is watermelon, which I first tried at the beach during our family vacation last summer."
  4. Add: "In conclusion, some students dislike vegetables, and the cafeteria line is often too slow at lunchtime."
Explanation: The best addition wraps up the argument: it uses a transition, restates the claim about adding fresh fruit, and explains why it matters by naming benefits like helping students focus and making lunches healthier. That gives readers a satisfying final push. The choice about fruit tasting good just repeats that people like fruit without summarizing the reasons or explaining why the change matters, so it doesn't truly strengthen the argument. The watermelon vacation choice adds a personal story that has nothing to do with why school lunches should include fruit, so it pulls the reader away from the point. The last choice sounds like a conclusion because it starts with "In conclusion," but it introduces brand-new, off-topic ideas about disliking vegetables and slow cafeteria lines instead of restating the claim about fresh fruit. A strong conclusion should sum up your main point and remind readers why it matters, which is exactly what the best answer does.

Question 16

A student reads this draft aloud and notices a confusing run-on sentence. Which revision best separates the ideas to clarify meaning?

Student draft (drafting): "I wanted to join the band I was nervous because I had never played in front of people."

  1. I wanted to join the band, I was nervous because I had never played in front of people.
  2. I wanted to join the band. I was nervous because I had never played in front of people. (correct answer)
  3. I wanted to join the band and I was nervous because I had never played in front of people.
  4. I wanted to join the band because I was nervous I had never played in front of people.
Explanation: Reading aloud reveals a run-on: two complete thoughts, "I wanted to join the band" and "I was nervous because I had never played in front of people," are jammed together. The best fix puts a period after "band" and starts a new sentence with a capital "I," giving readers two clear, separate ideas that still connect. Using only a comma between the two complete thoughts creates a comma splice, which is still a run-on and doesn't fully separate the ideas. Adding "and" without a comma joins the thoughts into one long sentence instead of separating them, so the ideas still run together. Moving "because" between the thoughts changes the meaning, wrongly saying nervousness was the reason you wanted to join the band, and it still leaves a fused sentence. When two complete thoughts sit side by side, the strongest way to clarify meaning is to break them into two sentences with a period.

Question 17

A student is revising for focus after a writing partner comments, "Your second sentence seems off topic." Draft: "I love basketball. My dog learned a new trick yesterday. Practice starts at 4:00." Which revision best uses the feedback?

  1. Keep the dog sentence and add more details about the new trick the dog learned yesterday.
  2. Delete the dog sentence because it is off topic and does not connect to basketball practice. (correct answer)
  3. Move the dog sentence to the end so the paragraph builds toward the surprising trick.
  4. Replace "basketball" with "dogs" so the whole paragraph matches the dog sentence.
Explanation: The partner's feedback points at one problem: the second sentence doesn't belong. A focused paragraph keeps every sentence tied to the main idea, which here is basketball. Deleting the dog sentence removes the part that breaks the focus and leaves a paragraph that stays on topic. That is exactly what revising for focus means. Adding more details about the dog's trick does the opposite—it develops the off-topic sentence and pulls the paragraph even further from basketball. Moving the dog sentence to the end doesn't help either; an off-topic sentence is still off topic no matter where it sits, so the focus problem stays. Replacing "basketball" with "dogs" fixes the mismatch by throwing away your real main idea and reshaping the whole paragraph around one stray sentence, which is not what the feedback asked for. The strongest revision keeps your topic and cuts what doesn't support it, even when the cut sentence is interesting.

Question 18

A student is revising for word choice because the draft sounds vague and repetitive. Which revision best replaces vague words?

Student draft (revising): "The movie was good, and the actors did good. The story had good parts."

  1. The movie was really good, and the actors were good too. The story had some good parts and good moments.
  2. The movie was entertaining, the actors gave convincing performances, and the story included suspenseful scenes. (correct answer)
  3. The movie was nice, and the actors were nice. The story had nice parts that many people enjoyed watching.
  4. The movie was interesting, and the actors did good. The story had exciting parts and cool scenes throughout.
Explanation: The draft leans on the vague word "good" three times, so it never tells the reader what actually made the movie worth watching. The best revision replaces each vague word with a precise description: "entertaining" names the overall experience, "convincing performances" describes the acting, and "suspenseful scenes" shows what the story delivered. Now the reader can picture exactly what the writer means. The version that piles on "good" and adds "really" and "moments" just repeats the same empty word—it changes nothing about how vague the sentence is. The version that swaps in "nice" only trades one vague word for another equally weak one, so the reader still learns nothing specific. The version that starts strong with "interesting" and "exciting" still leaves "the actors did good" unfixed, so it only revises part of the problem and keeps the same vague language for the acting. Effective revision means making every vague word specific and informative, not just rewording some of them or adding filler.

Question 19

Read the student's draft. To revise for focus, which sentence should the student delete because it is irrelevant?

Student draft (revising stage): "Volunteers at the animal shelter clean cages and refill water bowls. They also walk dogs so the dogs get exercise. My cousin rides her bicycle to the park to feed the ducks. Volunteers help the animals feel safe."

  1. Delete: "Volunteers at the animal shelter clean cages and refill water bowls."
  2. Delete: "They also walk dogs so the dogs get exercise."
  3. Delete: "My cousin rides her bicycle to the park to feed the ducks." (correct answer)
  4. Delete: "Volunteers help the animals feel safe."
Explanation: The paragraph's main idea is what volunteers do at the animal shelter. The sentence about a cousin riding a bicycle to feed ducks at the park is about a different person doing a different activity somewhere else, so it pulls the reader away from the topic and should be deleted to keep the writing focused. The sentence about cleaning cages and refilling water bowls names real volunteer tasks, so it develops the main idea and belongs. The sentence about walking dogs so they get exercise continues describing volunteer work and supports the topic, so keep it. The sentence about helping animals feel safe explains the purpose behind the volunteers' actions, which also fits the main idea. When you revise for focus, ask of each sentence, "Does this help explain what shelter volunteers do?" Even a pleasant detail should be cut if the answer is no.

Question 20

A student is revising for organization after peer feedback: "Your reasons seem out of order." Which revision strategy best helps organize the paragraph?

Student draft (revising): "First, we should start a garden. Also, we need permission from the principal. Finally, we can decide what to plant."

  1. Replace transition words like "also" and "finally" with livelier words so the paragraph sounds more interesting to read.
  2. Rearrange the sentences so permission comes first, deciding what to plant comes next, and starting the garden comes last. (correct answer)
  3. Delete the sentence about getting permission so the paragraph moves faster and focuses only on the fun planting steps.
  4. Correct the capitalization and add commas throughout so the paragraph follows the rules for proper punctuation.
Explanation: The feedback says the reasons are "out of order," which is a problem with organization—the sequence of the steps. In the draft, the writer says to start the garden first, but you can't start until you have permission and have decided what to plant. Rearranging the sentences so permission comes first, deciding what to plant comes next, and starting the garden comes last fixes the sequence and lets readers follow the steps in a logical order. Swapping "also" and "finally" for livelier words changes word choice, not the order of the ideas, so the steps still don't make sense. Deleting the sentence about permission throws away an important step instead of moving it where it belongs—and the paragraph is still out of order. Correcting capitalization and adding commas is editing for conventions, which polishes how the writing looks but does nothing to reorder the reasons. When peers say something is "out of order," they mean you need to rearrange ideas into a logical sequence, not fix words or punctuation.